ext_78582 ([identity profile] dolorosa-12.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] dolorosa_12 2010-07-13 11:02 am (UTC)

To be honest, Jordan, on some kind of level I know you're right. I do tend to let things slide rather than arguing my beliefs, partly because I tend to find debates scary and confrontational, rather than intellectually stimulating and exhilerating (as I think some people do). It probably owes something to my upbringing and also general diffidence that I perceive anyone talking in a heated tone of voice as being hostile and quite threatening. As a child it would really upset me to be shouted at (and thus it happened very rarely) and I suspect some of this has bled over into my adult demeanour. I need to try to be otherwise, as (as I've talked about in the past to you) it's got me into some rather bad situations.

Of course I worry that this habit of strongly arguing my point, which I consider healthy, sometimes translates into me getting my own way in cases where I end up arguing selfishly more than fairly, and other people are just too conflict adverse to call me out on it.

I think this depends entirely on with whom you're debating. Surely by now you know which people are interested in debating and which are conflict-averse, at least among your close friends?


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