a million times a trillion more (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dolorosa_12) wrote2020-09-18 11:49 am
dolorosa_12) wrote2020-09-18 11:49 am
Friday open thread: advice to your younger self
I think I've finally managed to get on top of all the comments I've received on various posts (and I have to say, having so much activity on Dreamwidth that I'm on the verge of being overwhelmed by comments is a nice problem to have), just in time for this week's open thread.
Today's question comes fromlikeadeuce: give a piece of advice to your younger self.
It's a bit of a cliché, but I truly wish I'd been able to tell my younger self not to fixate so much on what people thought of her, or to at least have a sense of perspective about it. I wish I had been able to make myself understand that every single other teenager in my life at the time was as self-absorbed as I was, and that they were completely oblivious to all the things I felt they were noticing and judging me for. Sadly, I fear that teenage!me would not have believed this advice, and I'm sure I got it from the adults in my life at the time, and didn't believe them. It didn't help that as well as being very self-absorbed, I was a hyper vigilant and hyperaware teeanger who did observe the people around her (and definitely judged them), and just assumed everyone was the same.
So I wish I had been able to give myself that advice, but I'm dubious as to whether it would have been effective. Learning that for the most part people are too wrapped up in their own selves to notice all the things you're embarrassed and fearful about is just one of those lessons that you have to learn the hard way.
What are your answers?
Today's question comes from
likeadeuce: give a piece of advice to your younger self.It's a bit of a cliché, but I truly wish I'd been able to tell my younger self not to fixate so much on what people thought of her, or to at least have a sense of perspective about it. I wish I had been able to make myself understand that every single other teenager in my life at the time was as self-absorbed as I was, and that they were completely oblivious to all the things I felt they were noticing and judging me for. Sadly, I fear that teenage!me would not have believed this advice, and I'm sure I got it from the adults in my life at the time, and didn't believe them. It didn't help that as well as being very self-absorbed, I was a hyper vigilant and hyperaware teeanger who did observe the people around her (and definitely judged them), and just assumed everyone was the same.
So I wish I had been able to give myself that advice, but I'm dubious as to whether it would have been effective. Learning that for the most part people are too wrapped up in their own selves to notice all the things you're embarrassed and fearful about is just one of those lessons that you have to learn the hard way.
What are your answers?
no subject
To my 12 years ago self: go ahead and volunteer for Obama, you will meet great people and discover a lot of stuff that you are good at. (Yesterday was my 4 year anniversary of the first time I volunteered for Clinton/Kaine and all of the reasons that I had given myself for not doing the same thing 8 years ago turned out to be nonsense!)
no subject
Oh yes, this is so important, and really hard to learn.
To my 12 years ago self: go ahead and volunteer for Obama, you will meet great people and discover a lot of stuff that you are good at. (Yesterday was my 4 year anniversary of the first time I volunteered for Clinton/Kaine and all of the reasons that I had given myself for not doing the same thing 8 years ago turned out to be nonsense!)
I think I've told you before how much I admire you for doing this — after singing karaoke, doorknocking and speaking to people who might be hostile to what I have to say is pretty much my worst nightmare, so I really, really value people who have talents in this area and are prepared to do the work.