pauraque: bird on the ground with a santa hat (xmas pauraque)
pauraque ([personal profile] pauraque) wrote in [personal profile] dolorosa_12 2020-12-18 05:23 pm (UTC)

our friendships developed through a process of (over)sharing very deeply personal stuff with each other

This has been a pattern for me too, but in my experience it can be a double-edged sword. It's a fast track to feeling close to someone, and sometimes that works out, but I've also had it happen where it led to a degree of closeness and oversharing that began to feel smothering to me. And once you're there, it's not the most comfortable thing to try to walk it back and bring the friendship down to a lower level.

So, I've tried to cultivate a more gradual style of developing friendships. A little sharing about personal stuff here and there, but not jumping straight to pouring our hearts out. For me this works better and seems to lead to more lasting friendships rather than ones that are intense but flame out quickly.

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