Courage, kindness, community-building

[dolorosa_12]

To say that all RH did was to utter words is a complete denial of what we are as writers. Words have power, and words wielded in hatred and violence are just as harmful as violence dealt out with fists.

—Rochita Loenen-Ruiz, 'Standing Up and Speaking Truth'

Yes, this is a post on Winterfox/Requires Hate/Benjanun Sriduangkaew. Consider that a content warning for references to abusive behaviour of many kinds. I've put the post behind a cut for that reason.


If you don't know what I'm talking about, please read Laura Mixon's 'Report on Damage Done by One Individual Under Several Names'. Laura has recently followed up the report with a new post:

It has been months since my report came out and it still makes me sick at heart to think about the tactics Requires Hate and some of her inner-circle members used. By deploying social-justice memes in such a cynical way, they besmirched those concepts—one of the few tools that we women, people of color, the dis/abled, and other marginalized people have in our hands, to help us show those higher on the privilege slopes the systemic obstacles and biases that hold us back.

I’m also disappointed that there are those who profess to care about social equity and progressive causes, but are still willing to excuse, ignore, or defend her earlier actions, knowing what we now know about the harm she wrought.

At the same time, I have deep empathy for those, especially in the LGBTQI community and the community of color, who have been harmed by the reinforcement of ugly stereotypes—most notably the man-hater lesbian and the angry, abusive woman of color—that this conflict engendered. Those stereotypes reflect harmful attitudes, phobias, and biases that—whether unconscious or not—make people less safe. That’s been one of the most difficult aspects of this conflict for me.

For context please see also Athena Andreadis ('RH/BS and her acolytes have set back true progressives in SFF by at least a decade and have turned “social justice” into a term of derision even among supporters of change and an apotropaic invocation for those agog to have SFF revert to the circa-fifties Leaden Era'), Rachel Manija Brown ('Marginalized people are often unfairly persecuted and falsely accused. It's reasonable to be suspicious when you first hear claims that a woman of color is abusive. But marginalized people are people, and some people are abusive. Some marginalized people are abusive. Supporting abusers is not justice') and Rochita Loenen-Ruiz ('Oh who have fought not to be silenced….and having won…struggle not to fall into silence…do not fall into silence…do not allow yourself to fall into silence…do not…do not…do not surrender…do not give way. Speak on'). Please also take the time to visit Safe, a POC-led and -centred (though not POC-only) space set up by Rochita and Tade Thompson.

From these posts, it is clear that former targets and their supporters are keen to move on and begin the difficult work of healing ruptures that RH exploited, finding their voices when they were silenced and helping people who feel unsafe in the SFF community to reach out and ask for help. I commend this work, and am keen to aid in this endeavour in any way I can.

The reaction to Laura's report left me both hopeful and disappointed in a community that I valued. Hopeful because I think the report marked a sea-change in attitudes towards predators and a commitment to take abuse seriously, but disappointed because of the reactions of many people whose opinions I had previously respected.

To continue to insist that the report was unnecessary, or that RH's targets were making a fuss about nothing, or that because her abuse was all in the past (it wasn't) or only directed at insignificant targets like members of the fanworks fandom community (it wasn't, and that shouldn't make a difference) or didn't count because it was directed at targets who didn't present an easy hierarchy of privilege between abused and abuser (it wasn't, and again that shouldn't matter) or was nothing in comparison to the abuses of more privileged members of the community who were never called on their behaviour (patently untrue) is a failure of empathy. If these enablers had extended even a fraction of the empathy RH's targets have extended to her, even after everything, posts like mine would be entirely unnecessary. I am certainly not calling for boycotts of any kind, and I stand by what I said in my recent Storify that everyone is free to draw their own personal line in the sand about the degree to which they support and associate with abusive or formerly abusive individuals. However, the degree of fence-sitting I have seen on this issue has shown me that there are many people within the SFF community whom I would no longer trust to believe or defend me were I to be abused. This saddens me.

It all comes down to trust. I have chosen to trust those whose actions match their words. I have chosen to trust those who believe and support abuse victims, giving them spaces to speak and suggesting constructive ways to move forward. I have chosen to trust those who are working visibly towards building a safer, more diverse and inclusive community. I have chosen to trust those who are committed to building bridges, mentoring others and acknowledging influences, history and the support of others. I have chosen to trust those whose public and private utterances are testament to their professionalism, kindness, empathy and appreciation of a multiplicity of perspectives. In short, I have chosen to support those who are committed to community-building.

It is scary to oppose and speak out about deplorable behaviour from those we dislike and with whom we disagree ideologically. It is even more scary to speak out against those who appear to be our ideological allies. To name abusive behaviour for what it is when it comes from our friends takes real moral courage. So does admitting we might have been wrong, and that we (out of the best intentions) caused real harm. But to allow reconciliation, healing, genuine community-building and lasting change, these things are necessary.

So, where do we go from here? For my part, I have made a commitment to work more collaboratively and amplify the voices of those who share my goals of inclusivity, collaboration and diversity. With that in mind, I would like to direct you to Rachel Manija Brown's post gathering recommendations for diverse SFF literature (Livejournal | Dreamwidth) and my own post doing the same for diverse reviews (Livejournal | Dreamwidth).

We have a long way to go. We have work to do. It requires love.

Comments are screened in order to make this a safe space. I am intending to unscreen non-abusive comments, but will not publish any comments that people want to make privately. Please indicate in your comments if you would prefer them to be kept private.