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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-09-25 07:08 pm (UTC)Hi this is 100% me. I was looking at old journals the other day and came across something 17-year-old me had written about being in a chat room when two people started disagreeing with each other and how I couldn't sleep and didn't know when I'd be able to go back there. I've gotten a little better at it, but I still go to great lengths to avoid anything that might start a debate. I got super anxious recently when I tweeted about how harassment was not okay and some of the harassers minions' got into my mentions and I had to shut them down (reply + block so they couldn't keep arguing). Even knowing I was standing up for someone who needed support, even though "you should not harass people" seems like it's just basic common decency. Augh.
Anyway, it sounds like you've got things pretty well figured out and that's great! And I'm so glad we have Dreamwidth with its longform exchanges and slower tempo. I've been seeing your open posts and they all look great! I've been wanting to participate but the Mystery Bug really drained me of all types of energy including that for participating in fun things. But I so do appreciate that you're hosting those kinds of conversation. ♥
For me, Facebook gave me a different kind of anxiety - that of not being a Good Enough Friend. I was always missing things (thanks Facebook algorithms), I was never commenting enough, and being around but not present enough to be the kind of friend I wanted to be made me decide to just not go on Facebook at all. Plus my workplace is very social and everyone's added everyone else and I...don't feel comfortable with that? I've always been very private about certain aspects of my life (including fandom, but also things I don't really talk about like growing up in a commune), and there would just be too much crossing of streams on Facebook. So it's easier to just say "I don't use Facebook" than have a hidden presence and tell colleagues I don't want to add them.
On the other hand I have curated a Twitter experience that I find very enjoyable. After muting a lot of keywords and turning off a lot of accounts' retweets I have a feed that is 80% friends tweeting about fandom and daily life, 10% authors tweeting about everything and anything (including current events) in ways that I really appreciate, and 10% randomness. What I like about Twitter is the fannish community. I love longform but I don't always have energy for it, but on Twitter I can get a lot of social interaction through quick, easy exchanges. I've been able to both offer and get support in a way that has made me feel good about my presence there, and as long as I stay in my lane and hang out with my people (and mute all the keywords that spark anxiety and annoyance) it's a good place to be.