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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-09-27 11:29 am (UTC)I totally agree with you. Arguments make people emotional and defensive, and that's not a frame of mind conducive to reflecting and changing. I don't have the citations to hand, but I'm sure there have been studies done on how to change people's minds (or deradicalise people, or help them break out of cults) and the best way to do so is to build on existing personal connections and experiences, and to take the other person's perspective seriously, with an assumption of sincerity and good faith. (This is obviously hard to do if you feel their perspective is irrational, ignorant, oppressive or fascistic, which is why I leave that kind of work to the professionals — I am not equipped to do so myself!)
I use Tumblr on and off and also post on Instagram, and both of those are fun but I also have no idea how to make friends native to those platforms
Same! I think when I was on Tumblr I made a single unique-to-Tumblr friend, and everyone else I already knew in real life, or through fandom on other platforms. I could never work out how to navigate the unwritten rules — people seemed to make friends by sliding into each other's DMs or reblogging each other's posts with commentary — but then some people on Tumblr would act as if strangers messaging them or replying to their posts was a kind of harassment. The whole thing was too stressful to me!
What you say about feeling compelled to keep checking in with how awful everything is and chime in with comments about yes, it is awful! is really very well-put.
Thank you! I posted a similar thing on Facebook, and a friend there commented that this pressure to remain vigilant to all the iniquities of the world, as they're unfolding, with incomplete information and then make it obvious that you are aware of said iniquities or you are A TERRIBLE PERSON is like a form of self-harm. It's cruel, it's unhelpful, and it reduces people's capacity to actually fight back in a concrete way against all these terrible things.