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dolorosa_12Well, 2021 certainly was a year.
1. What did you do in 2021 that you'd never done before?
Move into a house that I (and my husband, and the bank) owned. Get vaccinated (and boosted) against COVID-19. Live in a place, which, while technically a city due to having a cathedral, is, let's face it, a small town. I am a city woman at heart, but so far I'm making small town living work.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My resolutions for 2021 were, as they have been for several years now, to carve out spaces of safety, kindness, empathy and beauty where I can, to draw my own personal lines in the sand, and hold to them, to support and live and love with integrity, and to remember, always, that love, love is a verb, love is a doing word.
I actually think this year I did this really well.
I had some concrete professional goals relating to teaching, getting published, presenting at conferences, and in general receiving professional recognition, and these were all achieved. I also had a goal to log every book read, movie and TV show watched, concert or exhibition attended, and to write something, even if it was just a sentence, about each of these things online, either on Dreamwidth, on my Wordpress blog, or as a throwaway remark on Twitter. I didn't quite manage this, as I went through some periods of mental darkness that sapped my energy.
My resolutions for 2022 are probably a mixture of the above. I want to stick to my 'fire can be a candle flame' resolution that I've made each new year since 2016, and will continue to do my best, no matter what my various countries throw at me. I have resolved every year to make light, and warmth, and kindness in the smallness of my own life, and accept that this is enough. Again, I have a few concrete professional and personal goals, but I prefer to keep those private until the close of the next year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister-in-law had a third child — a son.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
As in 2020, this was a year of death, but it passed me and mine by.
5. What countries did you visit?
I went to Germany for a week in September to see Matthias's family and meet the aforementioned new nephew for the first time.
6. What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?
For the past couple of years, I've talked about larger things here: hope for the world, for my own personal good fortunes to be extended more widely. This year, I have one overwhelming wish: to see my family in person, to hug my mother and sister, to be swept up in the chaos and disorganisation of my paternal and stepfamily, to see the sun sparkle on Sydney Harbour, and the sweep of the Australian sky. To swim in all those southern oceans.
7. What date from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The dates of my two vaccine doses, and my booster. The day we moved into our own house.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly, surviving another year of the pandemic — in relatively privileged circumstances — felt like an achievement of its own.
I'm also quite proud of my professional achievements this year. I coauthored five peer-reviewed journal articles, led an initiative to train hundreds of NHS librarians across more than 90 different training sessions, and did so. much. teaching.
I also believe that the quiet work of everyday labour — cooking, cleaning, gardening, managing relationships both personal and professional, supporting people in their learning and research — is a kind of achievement in itself, and requires effort that is not often noticed or valued, so I think that I, and all who do this kind of work do an unequivocal good.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Succumbing on occasion to my desire to use Twitter as a form of self-harm.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have a lot of ongoing problems with my wrists and ankles which so far have not been fixed by a lot of physiotherapy.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Nice food (whether ingredidents to cook myself, or take-away) and drink, and things to make our house a home: seeds and garden furniture, scented candles and diffusers, artwork, and everything else that made my living (and working) space feel so cosy and beautiful.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Health workers. Epidemiologists. Frontline workers in retail, transport, logistics, warehouses, and hospitality, for doing the work they always do, unappreciated, underpaid, and at risk. Teachers, everywhere. My employers, for being sensible in the face of the chaos. My students, for being adaptable and forgiving. People who heal, nurture, and nourish others.
Every single person who took their vaccines and boosters, and wore a mask, and took their lateral flow tests, and helped others to do the same.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Oh, where to start? There is the obvious answer of so many political leaders, whose utter inability to do the job to which they had been elected was made starkly clear. Some were incompetent, some were malicious, and many were maliciously incompetent.
Anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and their enablers. But the depths of my contempt are reserved for every single Australian who clapped and cheered for border closures, and who spent more time catastrophising about THE BORDER than sounding the alarm about the country's vaccine strollout. I expected nothing of the right-wing political leaders, and the anti-science crowd. The applause for border closures (or deafening silence) from Australians who share my political views is something I will always remember, and never forgive.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage repayments, and just the day to day cost of living.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Moving into our new house. Our holidays in Southwold and London. Swimming. Eating the fruits and vegetables grown in our garden. Books, and books, and books.
16. What song will always remind you of 2021?
'In the Dark' — Tiësto ft. Christian Burns.
It's hard to pick out a single segment of the lyrics, so I've reproduced them in full:
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? A little bit sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter, if the fit of my clothes is anything to go by.
iii. richer or poorer? About the same.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd been able to travel this year, and been able to see my family.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Using Twitter as a source of deliberate self-harm.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
We were supposed to be going to Germany to spend Christmas with Matthias's family, but two days before our travel date, Germany closed the border, so it was again a quiet time at home with Matthias. On Christmas Eve we unwrapped presents over Zoom with Matthias's family in Germany, and then ate a nice meal of cold fish and salad. On Christmas Day Matthias and I walked out along the river in the stillness of the morning, I chatted to my family in Australia, and then Matthias and I ate a lot of food. We had leftovers for days! To be honest, this actually ended up being an incredibly relaxing and healing time for me.
22. Did you fall in love in 2021?
Spending almost every minute of 2021 in my house, alone with Matthias made me realise how right I was to love him.
23. Did your heart break in 2021?
It didn't break, but it was heavy.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
The Underground Railroad was brutal and ambitious, We Are Ladyparts was warm-hearted, and It's A Sin was heartbreaking and compassionate. Lupin was stylish good fun, and Shetland continued to know exactly what it was, and be fantastic at that.
25. Where were you when 2021 began?
In Cambridge.
26. Who were you with?
With Matthias.
27. Where will you be when 2021 ends?
In Ely.
28. Who will you be with when 2021 ends?
Matthias.
29. What was the best book you read?
I read 95 books this year. The standouts were definitely The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson, The Wolf and the Woodsman by Ava Reid, and Savage Her Reply by Deirdre Sullivan. My most anticipated books were definitely The Mask Falling by Samantha Shannon, and A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine, and they definitely lived up to my expectations.
30. What was your greatest musical discovery?
My heart belongs to the Ukrainian industrial folk witches.
31. What did you want and get?
To get vaccinated, and for all my family and loved ones to get vaccinated.
32. What did you want and not get?
For the whole world to be vaccinated.
To see my mother. To see my sisters. To swim in the oceans of Sydney. Someone to wave a magic wand and make me an EU citizen again.
33. What was your favourite film of this year?
Space Sweepers was cheesy good fun, I loved Dune for the aesthetic, and I saw a couple of good documentaries. It's not really been a standout year for films though.
34. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was meant to be taken out to dinner at one of the Ottolenghi restaurants in London, where we were going to stay overnight before taking the Eurostar to Germany for Christmas. Instead, I was at home, eating Thai take-away, but it was still a fun day. I was thirty-seven.
35. How many different states/cities did you travel to in 2021?
Ahahahahaha. I did manage to leave Cambridgeshire, but it was still pretty woeful by my standards: Vlotho in Germany, Cambridge, London, Southwold, Ispwich, Bury St Edmund's, Tiverton, and a few of the surrounding villages around Ely in the UK.
36. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2021?
I pretty much lived in pyjamas and athleisure wear this year, and I regret nothing.
37. What kept you sane?
Cooking. Reading. Walking every day in the beautiful fenlands outside my door. Growing things. Working slowly and methodically. Crossing things off lists.
Havingnotasapleasure and her husband living here in Ely was a life-saver, and I'm so sad that they've moved away.
And, like last year: 'Rain is not always a storm. The wind does not always howl. Sometimes death is quiet or love is peaceful.' 'Fire can be a candle flame.'
38. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I think I have to go back to my former answer: I am choosing to designate Pagan Kidrouk as a public figure.
39. What political issue stirred you the most?
The pandemic, and the various ways it was handled — and not handled — by different governments around the world.
40. How many concerts did you see in 2021?
Again, hahahahaha. I watched Eurovision?
41. Did you have a favourite concert in 2021?
n/a
42. Who was the best new person you met?
In person, my new nephew, and the baby daughter of![[instagram.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/profile_icons/instagram.png)
cait.de.roiste and ![[twitter.com profile]](https://p.dreamwidth.org/e0caa790ec10/-/twitter.com/favicon.ico)
DrLRoach.
I am so grateful this year that I am in fandom, because I met so many fantastic new people through Dreamwidth.
43. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
No.
44. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2021?
I'm not easily embarrassed.
45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021.
We're all in the same river, but we're subject to different currents.
46. What are your plans for 2022?
Like last year, to grow among the growing things. I don't want to make any further plans than that, because I don't think I can handle the disappointment.
47. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Coming over here, mending everything that's broken.
1. What did you do in 2021 that you'd never done before?
Move into a house that I (and my husband, and the bank) owned. Get vaccinated (and boosted) against COVID-19. Live in a place, which, while technically a city due to having a cathedral, is, let's face it, a small town. I am a city woman at heart, but so far I'm making small town living work.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My resolutions for 2021 were, as they have been for several years now, to carve out spaces of safety, kindness, empathy and beauty where I can, to draw my own personal lines in the sand, and hold to them, to support and live and love with integrity, and to remember, always, that love, love is a verb, love is a doing word.
I actually think this year I did this really well.
I had some concrete professional goals relating to teaching, getting published, presenting at conferences, and in general receiving professional recognition, and these were all achieved. I also had a goal to log every book read, movie and TV show watched, concert or exhibition attended, and to write something, even if it was just a sentence, about each of these things online, either on Dreamwidth, on my Wordpress blog, or as a throwaway remark on Twitter. I didn't quite manage this, as I went through some periods of mental darkness that sapped my energy.
My resolutions for 2022 are probably a mixture of the above. I want to stick to my 'fire can be a candle flame' resolution that I've made each new year since 2016, and will continue to do my best, no matter what my various countries throw at me. I have resolved every year to make light, and warmth, and kindness in the smallness of my own life, and accept that this is enough. Again, I have a few concrete professional and personal goals, but I prefer to keep those private until the close of the next year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister-in-law had a third child — a son.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
As in 2020, this was a year of death, but it passed me and mine by.
5. What countries did you visit?
I went to Germany for a week in September to see Matthias's family and meet the aforementioned new nephew for the first time.
6. What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?
For the past couple of years, I've talked about larger things here: hope for the world, for my own personal good fortunes to be extended more widely. This year, I have one overwhelming wish: to see my family in person, to hug my mother and sister, to be swept up in the chaos and disorganisation of my paternal and stepfamily, to see the sun sparkle on Sydney Harbour, and the sweep of the Australian sky. To swim in all those southern oceans.
7. What date from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The dates of my two vaccine doses, and my booster. The day we moved into our own house.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly, surviving another year of the pandemic — in relatively privileged circumstances — felt like an achievement of its own.
I'm also quite proud of my professional achievements this year. I coauthored five peer-reviewed journal articles, led an initiative to train hundreds of NHS librarians across more than 90 different training sessions, and did so. much. teaching.
I also believe that the quiet work of everyday labour — cooking, cleaning, gardening, managing relationships both personal and professional, supporting people in their learning and research — is a kind of achievement in itself, and requires effort that is not often noticed or valued, so I think that I, and all who do this kind of work do an unequivocal good.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Succumbing on occasion to my desire to use Twitter as a form of self-harm.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have a lot of ongoing problems with my wrists and ankles which so far have not been fixed by a lot of physiotherapy.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Nice food (whether ingredidents to cook myself, or take-away) and drink, and things to make our house a home: seeds and garden furniture, scented candles and diffusers, artwork, and everything else that made my living (and working) space feel so cosy and beautiful.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Health workers. Epidemiologists. Frontline workers in retail, transport, logistics, warehouses, and hospitality, for doing the work they always do, unappreciated, underpaid, and at risk. Teachers, everywhere. My employers, for being sensible in the face of the chaos. My students, for being adaptable and forgiving. People who heal, nurture, and nourish others.
Every single person who took their vaccines and boosters, and wore a mask, and took their lateral flow tests, and helped others to do the same.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Oh, where to start? There is the obvious answer of so many political leaders, whose utter inability to do the job to which they had been elected was made starkly clear. Some were incompetent, some were malicious, and many were maliciously incompetent.
Anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and their enablers. But the depths of my contempt are reserved for every single Australian who clapped and cheered for border closures, and who spent more time catastrophising about THE BORDER than sounding the alarm about the country's vaccine strollout. I expected nothing of the right-wing political leaders, and the anti-science crowd. The applause for border closures (or deafening silence) from Australians who share my political views is something I will always remember, and never forgive.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage repayments, and just the day to day cost of living.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Moving into our new house. Our holidays in Southwold and London. Swimming. Eating the fruits and vegetables grown in our garden. Books, and books, and books.
16. What song will always remind you of 2021?
'In the Dark' — Tiësto ft. Christian Burns.
It's hard to pick out a single segment of the lyrics, so I've reproduced them in full:
When it seems
Like the world around you's breaking
And it feels
Like there's no one else around you
And it's quiet
There's a silence in the darkness
And it sounds
Like the carnival is over
As you walk
In the crowded empty spaces
And you stare
At the emptiness around you
You wanna go
To the city and the bright lights
Get away
From the sinners that surround you
'Cause I will be there
And you will be there
We'll find each other in the dark
And you will see
And I'll see you too
'Cause we'll be together in the dark
'Cause if it's coming for you
Then it's coming for me
'Cause I will be there
'Cause we need each other in the dark
And if it terrifies you
Then it terrifies me
'Cause I will be there
So we've got each other in the dark
As I look into the sky
There's sparks bright as ice
You want me to take you over there
I want you to stay with me
'Cause you're not the only one
The only one
No, no
Don't worry
You're not the only one
'Cause if it's coming for you
Then it's coming for me
But I will be there
'Cause we need each other in the dark
And if it's panicking you
Then it's panicking me
But I will be there
So we've got each other in the dark
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? A little bit sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter, if the fit of my clothes is anything to go by.
iii. richer or poorer? About the same.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd been able to travel this year, and been able to see my family.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Using Twitter as a source of deliberate self-harm.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
We were supposed to be going to Germany to spend Christmas with Matthias's family, but two days before our travel date, Germany closed the border, so it was again a quiet time at home with Matthias. On Christmas Eve we unwrapped presents over Zoom with Matthias's family in Germany, and then ate a nice meal of cold fish and salad. On Christmas Day Matthias and I walked out along the river in the stillness of the morning, I chatted to my family in Australia, and then Matthias and I ate a lot of food. We had leftovers for days! To be honest, this actually ended up being an incredibly relaxing and healing time for me.
22. Did you fall in love in 2021?
Spending almost every minute of 2021 in my house, alone with Matthias made me realise how right I was to love him.
23. Did your heart break in 2021?
It didn't break, but it was heavy.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
The Underground Railroad was brutal and ambitious, We Are Ladyparts was warm-hearted, and It's A Sin was heartbreaking and compassionate. Lupin was stylish good fun, and Shetland continued to know exactly what it was, and be fantastic at that.
25. Where were you when 2021 began?
In Cambridge.
26. Who were you with?
With Matthias.
27. Where will you be when 2021 ends?
In Ely.
28. Who will you be with when 2021 ends?
Matthias.
29. What was the best book you read?
I read 95 books this year. The standouts were definitely The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson, The Wolf and the Woodsman by Ava Reid, and Savage Her Reply by Deirdre Sullivan. My most anticipated books were definitely The Mask Falling by Samantha Shannon, and A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine, and they definitely lived up to my expectations.
30. What was your greatest musical discovery?
My heart belongs to the Ukrainian industrial folk witches.
31. What did you want and get?
To get vaccinated, and for all my family and loved ones to get vaccinated.
32. What did you want and not get?
For the whole world to be vaccinated.
To see my mother. To see my sisters. To swim in the oceans of Sydney. Someone to wave a magic wand and make me an EU citizen again.
33. What was your favourite film of this year?
Space Sweepers was cheesy good fun, I loved Dune for the aesthetic, and I saw a couple of good documentaries. It's not really been a standout year for films though.
34. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was meant to be taken out to dinner at one of the Ottolenghi restaurants in London, where we were going to stay overnight before taking the Eurostar to Germany for Christmas. Instead, I was at home, eating Thai take-away, but it was still a fun day. I was thirty-seven.
35. How many different states/cities did you travel to in 2021?
Ahahahahaha. I did manage to leave Cambridgeshire, but it was still pretty woeful by my standards: Vlotho in Germany, Cambridge, London, Southwold, Ispwich, Bury St Edmund's, Tiverton, and a few of the surrounding villages around Ely in the UK.
36. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2021?
I pretty much lived in pyjamas and athleisure wear this year, and I regret nothing.
37. What kept you sane?
Cooking. Reading. Walking every day in the beautiful fenlands outside my door. Growing things. Working slowly and methodically. Crossing things off lists.
Having
notasapleasure and her husband living here in Ely was a life-saver, and I'm so sad that they've moved away.And, like last year: 'Rain is not always a storm. The wind does not always howl. Sometimes death is quiet or love is peaceful.' 'Fire can be a candle flame.'
38. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I think I have to go back to my former answer: I am choosing to designate Pagan Kidrouk as a public figure.
39. What political issue stirred you the most?
The pandemic, and the various ways it was handled — and not handled — by different governments around the world.
40. How many concerts did you see in 2021?
Again, hahahahaha. I watched Eurovision?
41. Did you have a favourite concert in 2021?
n/a
42. Who was the best new person you met?
In person, my new nephew, and the baby daughter of
cait.de.roiste and I am so grateful this year that I am in fandom, because I met so many fantastic new people through Dreamwidth.
43. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
No.
44. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2021?
I'm not easily embarrassed.
45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021.
We're all in the same river, but we're subject to different currents.
46. What are your plans for 2022?
Like last year, to grow among the growing things. I don't want to make any further plans than that, because I don't think I can handle the disappointment.
47. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Coming over here, mending everything that's broken.