I'll gladly tell you about dreams
Dec. 31st, 2024 11:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolorosa_12This is my first year trying out a slightly new format and set of questions for the year-end meme; I made the decision this time last year to retire the previous format (which I'd been using for close to twenty years, since the Livejournal days), the questions of which seemed in many cases more suited to a teenager or undergraduate university student. I've taken this set of questions from falena.
Memorable dates:
Most definitely the honour here goes to all the various trips I took this year — both within the UK and internationally — about which I'll say more in response to a later question. The night and morning after the UK general election were also incredibly memorable, and I'm glad that I made the decision to take the day after the election off, as it meant I could stay up until the bitter end, watching the atrocious, omnishambles of a 'government' (which had held office virtually the entire time I'd lived in the UK) be shown the door so resoundingly.
New year:
I spent last New Year's Eve in now-customary fashion: at home with Matthias, grazing on smoked salmon, charcuterie, fruit and chocolates, watching films, and drinking champagne. This evening's plans are the same (three Luc Besson films this time).
Birthday:
This year I turned 40. As we were travelling to Germany by train very early the next morning, it was a fairly uneventful day of packing and cleaning the house, but we stayed overnight in London and Matthias took me out for dinner at a great Indonesia restaurant. I don't enjoy having birthday parties (especially for 'big' birthdays when entering a new decade), so there won't be any big group celebrations next year, but the plan is to go for a massive blowout tasting menu at a place in Wales that also has a boutique hotel attached.
I don't really feel weird about turning 40, although I spent a lot of the year leading up to it contemplating how different my life is to how I imagined it would be at this age. Most of the difficult work of letting go of things I expected to feature in my life and circumstances in which I had expected to live, and coming to terms with that I did already, in previous years.
Christmas/Boxing Day:
I spent the Christmas period in Germany with Matthias's family, with meals each day at his sister's place (she lives in the old family home in which she and Matthias grew up, with her husband and three kids).
Work:
As I discussed in depth in a recent post, work has been incredibly difficult and challenging this year, but there's light at the end of the tunnel, and as of tomorrow, I will be promoted. Changes in technology (in particular the advent of what I saw described yesterday as 'extractive' AI) make my job a lot harder than when I started in this library ten years ago, but I still love teaching and contributing to research, and feel privileged that I'm able to do work that's intellectually and psychologically rewarding.
Travel:
This was a year of lots and lots of travel. I went with Matthias for a long weekend in Manchester (which I don't seem to have written up, but basically ended up being a foodie tour with a lot of walking — my favourite way to visit a new city), to Portugal (Lisbon and Lagos) with my mum in June, and to Germany to visit Matthias's family over Christmas, with a couple of days in Amsterdam on the way back. But the standout trip was of course our big holiday in the Baltic countries (Finland, Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania) in the late summer. It was an incredible thing to do, and I'm so glad I had the chance to experience it.
In addition to these bigger trips, there were a handful of overnight visits to London, usually to see concerts or attend to bureaucratic things, and lots of day trips locally.
Relationship:
Matthias and I have been in a relationship for just over 14 years now. We were in the strange situation in which we lived together before we were a couple (in a share house), and then I lived in Heidelberg for the second year of our relationship, so we only started living together on our own twelve years ago. We've been married for seven years, and I can't imagine journeying through this world without him.
Health (including mental):
The best description of my health this year — physical and mental — would have to be tired. I didn't experience any major illnesses, but I spent the year with a constant, simmering sense of exhaustion that never really left me. Most of this is due to circumstances beyond my control, some of which are going to change in the first few months of 2025, but I found this year a real slog. I'm proud that I was able to maintain all the exercise habits I've built — swimming 1km four times a week, daily yoga (even if some days this was just 10 minutes), two hours of fitness classes weekly — because all this movement (especially the swimming) helps keep me on an even keel mentally.
Self-improvement:
I guess participating in the walking group falls under this heading. As I've mentioned a couple of times previously, one of my big aims for 2024 was to take some small steps to open up my world, with a particular focus on in-person social activities. I know that I'm someone who needs to take small steps, so that they're easy and I can make them habitual, and the walking group was perfect in this regard. We do things together once or twice a month (in fact, I was out with them last night), and that's been a great success.
I also feel that my endless quest to manage the effects of real-time, rapid-fire social media has finally borne fruit this year, although this is something that I believe requires constant reflection and vigilance, and adaptation in the face of new changes.
Family:
They're all still back in Australia, although I saw Mum during her customary visit this northern summer. My mum retired last year and has been enjoying an incredibly active retirement that makes me feel exhausted to contemplate; my dad is still working (too much) and I wish he could retire, but with two school-age daughters, one undergraduate daughter, and my stepmother only erratically working, I fear he'll be working forever.
All four younger sisters are doing marvellously.
Births/deaths:
Friends continue to have babies, much to my delight.
Weddings/ceremonies attended:
I had assumed last year that my time of attending multiple weddings per year was over — most of my friends are in their late thirties or early forties, and almost all who wanted to get married have already done so. But much to my surprise, I was invited to not one, but two weddings this year.
The first was in Finland (the reason for our Baltic trip), when one of Matthias's schoolfriends married his Finnish partner. The second was the wedding of![[instagram.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/profile_icons/instagram.png)
lowercasename, my oldest and dearest internet friend.
Finance:
I haven't compared the exact numbers, but I would assume that I have less available money month to month due to inflation. Thankfully, Matthias's job pays very well (especially compared to library jobs in Cambridge), so as a household we've been shielded slightly. Next year, as I mentioned, I'm being promoted, with a consequent pay rise, and the two of us have concrete plans to contribute more to our savings, and to our pensions. I feel grateful that this is possible, since I know it's a very difficult time financially for many.
Books:
I read 142 books this year — some rereads, but mainly new-to-me books. I don't set reading goals in terms of the content, since I find this stressful and inhibiting, and find I read more if I'm not fixating on the specific types of books. There weren't really any major standouts, although I particularly enjoyed The Warm Hands of Ghosts (Katherine Arden), and Lady Hotspur (Tessa Gratton). But my favourite (non-reread) reading of 2024 was probably nonfiction, and above all the essays and books of Timothy Snyder.
TV:
As always, I watched a lot of TV. Standouts include Reservation Dogs, The Gathering (both of which really make viewers think they're watching one kind of show, and then pull the rug out from underneath them, to brilliant effect), Interview with the Vampire, and Nobody Wants This.
Music:
This was a great year for live music. I went to two gigs, Rue Oberkampf, and a joint concert between NNHMN, Minuit Machine, and Rebecca Warrior, both dark electro, both in tiny venues in London — which is as I like it. I didn't really discover any new music this year (I think you have to really work at this deliberately once you leave your mid-twenties behind), but I did fall even more deeply in love with all the Ukrainian artists I'd discovered in previous years.
Best things bought:
In terms of its effect, all the various pieces of equipment and supplies to which my donations to the Ukrainian military contributed. In terms of my own personal happiness, travel tickets, hotel accommodation, lots of amazing food (both cooked at home by me, or eaten out everywhere from food trucks to high end restaurants), and small things to make the house cosy and pretty.
falena.Memorable dates:
Most definitely the honour here goes to all the various trips I took this year — both within the UK and internationally — about which I'll say more in response to a later question. The night and morning after the UK general election were also incredibly memorable, and I'm glad that I made the decision to take the day after the election off, as it meant I could stay up until the bitter end, watching the atrocious, omnishambles of a 'government' (which had held office virtually the entire time I'd lived in the UK) be shown the door so resoundingly.
New year:
I spent last New Year's Eve in now-customary fashion: at home with Matthias, grazing on smoked salmon, charcuterie, fruit and chocolates, watching films, and drinking champagne. This evening's plans are the same (three Luc Besson films this time).
Birthday:
This year I turned 40. As we were travelling to Germany by train very early the next morning, it was a fairly uneventful day of packing and cleaning the house, but we stayed overnight in London and Matthias took me out for dinner at a great Indonesia restaurant. I don't enjoy having birthday parties (especially for 'big' birthdays when entering a new decade), so there won't be any big group celebrations next year, but the plan is to go for a massive blowout tasting menu at a place in Wales that also has a boutique hotel attached.
I don't really feel weird about turning 40, although I spent a lot of the year leading up to it contemplating how different my life is to how I imagined it would be at this age. Most of the difficult work of letting go of things I expected to feature in my life and circumstances in which I had expected to live, and coming to terms with that I did already, in previous years.
Christmas/Boxing Day:
I spent the Christmas period in Germany with Matthias's family, with meals each day at his sister's place (she lives in the old family home in which she and Matthias grew up, with her husband and three kids).
Work:
As I discussed in depth in a recent post, work has been incredibly difficult and challenging this year, but there's light at the end of the tunnel, and as of tomorrow, I will be promoted. Changes in technology (in particular the advent of what I saw described yesterday as 'extractive' AI) make my job a lot harder than when I started in this library ten years ago, but I still love teaching and contributing to research, and feel privileged that I'm able to do work that's intellectually and psychologically rewarding.
Travel:
This was a year of lots and lots of travel. I went with Matthias for a long weekend in Manchester (which I don't seem to have written up, but basically ended up being a foodie tour with a lot of walking — my favourite way to visit a new city), to Portugal (Lisbon and Lagos) with my mum in June, and to Germany to visit Matthias's family over Christmas, with a couple of days in Amsterdam on the way back. But the standout trip was of course our big holiday in the Baltic countries (Finland, Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania) in the late summer. It was an incredible thing to do, and I'm so glad I had the chance to experience it.
In addition to these bigger trips, there were a handful of overnight visits to London, usually to see concerts or attend to bureaucratic things, and lots of day trips locally.
Relationship:
Matthias and I have been in a relationship for just over 14 years now. We were in the strange situation in which we lived together before we were a couple (in a share house), and then I lived in Heidelberg for the second year of our relationship, so we only started living together on our own twelve years ago. We've been married for seven years, and I can't imagine journeying through this world without him.
Health (including mental):
The best description of my health this year — physical and mental — would have to be tired. I didn't experience any major illnesses, but I spent the year with a constant, simmering sense of exhaustion that never really left me. Most of this is due to circumstances beyond my control, some of which are going to change in the first few months of 2025, but I found this year a real slog. I'm proud that I was able to maintain all the exercise habits I've built — swimming 1km four times a week, daily yoga (even if some days this was just 10 minutes), two hours of fitness classes weekly — because all this movement (especially the swimming) helps keep me on an even keel mentally.
Self-improvement:
I guess participating in the walking group falls under this heading. As I've mentioned a couple of times previously, one of my big aims for 2024 was to take some small steps to open up my world, with a particular focus on in-person social activities. I know that I'm someone who needs to take small steps, so that they're easy and I can make them habitual, and the walking group was perfect in this regard. We do things together once or twice a month (in fact, I was out with them last night), and that's been a great success.
I also feel that my endless quest to manage the effects of real-time, rapid-fire social media has finally borne fruit this year, although this is something that I believe requires constant reflection and vigilance, and adaptation in the face of new changes.
Family:
They're all still back in Australia, although I saw Mum during her customary visit this northern summer. My mum retired last year and has been enjoying an incredibly active retirement that makes me feel exhausted to contemplate; my dad is still working (too much) and I wish he could retire, but with two school-age daughters, one undergraduate daughter, and my stepmother only erratically working, I fear he'll be working forever.
All four younger sisters are doing marvellously.
Births/deaths:
Friends continue to have babies, much to my delight.
Weddings/ceremonies attended:
I had assumed last year that my time of attending multiple weddings per year was over — most of my friends are in their late thirties or early forties, and almost all who wanted to get married have already done so. But much to my surprise, I was invited to not one, but two weddings this year.
The first was in Finland (the reason for our Baltic trip), when one of Matthias's schoolfriends married his Finnish partner. The second was the wedding of
lowercasename, my oldest and dearest internet friend.Finance:
I haven't compared the exact numbers, but I would assume that I have less available money month to month due to inflation. Thankfully, Matthias's job pays very well (especially compared to library jobs in Cambridge), so as a household we've been shielded slightly. Next year, as I mentioned, I'm being promoted, with a consequent pay rise, and the two of us have concrete plans to contribute more to our savings, and to our pensions. I feel grateful that this is possible, since I know it's a very difficult time financially for many.
Books:
I read 142 books this year — some rereads, but mainly new-to-me books. I don't set reading goals in terms of the content, since I find this stressful and inhibiting, and find I read more if I'm not fixating on the specific types of books. There weren't really any major standouts, although I particularly enjoyed The Warm Hands of Ghosts (Katherine Arden), and Lady Hotspur (Tessa Gratton). But my favourite (non-reread) reading of 2024 was probably nonfiction, and above all the essays and books of Timothy Snyder.
TV:
As always, I watched a lot of TV. Standouts include Reservation Dogs, The Gathering (both of which really make viewers think they're watching one kind of show, and then pull the rug out from underneath them, to brilliant effect), Interview with the Vampire, and Nobody Wants This.
Music:
This was a great year for live music. I went to two gigs, Rue Oberkampf, and a joint concert between NNHMN, Minuit Machine, and Rebecca Warrior, both dark electro, both in tiny venues in London — which is as I like it. I didn't really discover any new music this year (I think you have to really work at this deliberately once you leave your mid-twenties behind), but I did fall even more deeply in love with all the Ukrainian artists I'd discovered in previous years.
Best things bought:
In terms of its effect, all the various pieces of equipment and supplies to which my donations to the Ukrainian military contributed. In terms of my own personal happiness, travel tickets, hotel accommodation, lots of amazing food (both cooked at home by me, or eaten out everywhere from food trucks to high end restaurants), and small things to make the house cosy and pretty.