Beyond Selidor

I agree with you, though I should also say that there was nothing wrong with asking out a person on a bus (or in the queue at the print shop at Sydney Uni, or on the person's first day on the job — which happened to me twice, with two different colleagues in two different hospitality workplaces — etc, etc), and none of the men in question behaved poorly when I rejected them, nor made me feel uncomfortable or unsafe. It was just a little bit odd, because none of these occasions took place in contexts where I feel it would be more normal to ask out a total stranger (in a bar, nightclub, and so on). The coach trip to Batemans Bay that I described was excruciatingly awkward, but not scary in any way.

I don't know if things have improved in this regard — I've been in a relationship with the same person for nearly 15 years, so it's been that long since I had to navigate those early stages of getting together with someone — but certainly when I was a teenager and undergrad, I feel like a lot of guys deliberately misread social cues and interpreted friendliness as romantic interest.

I honestly block out awkward/uncomfortable scenarios, so let's pretend I gave the most impressive awkward trip response here.