My grandparents
Jun. 23rd, 2010 05:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolorosa_12I'm in a most sentimental mood today, and decided to write about my grandparents.
These are my grandparents.* (That's also me. Wow, old photo is old!) Their grandchildren call them Marnie and Tony, rather than Grandma and Granddad or any other versions thereof. There's a complicated reason behind that, but in any case, they are Marnie and Tony.
They are among the few people I love unconditionally. And I respect them greatly.
They grew up poor in Sydney and Melbourne. Marnie's father was what you would call a 'colourful racing identity', which sounds romantic, but in actual fact meant that my grandmother had to leave school at age eight to care for her four siblings, and the whole family had to pack up one night and flee from Melbourne to Sydney. She keeps a lot back from her grandchildren about her childhood, but it sounds pretty grim. Tony grew up in less trying circumstances, but he, too, left school young (at 14) and began working straight away.
I love them because they are wise in this wordless, inexpressible way that is related to how long they've lived, how much they've seen, and how much they've done. Until a few months ago, they were living in the family home, which Tony built himself, while working full-time and studying at night-school. They clawed their way into the middle class and have seen all of their four daughters live lives much more comfortable than their own. They have two grandsons and five granddaughters and one granddaughter-in-law (the wonderful![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_lil_spoon, whom I, and they, think of as part of the family), all of whom they dote on.
When I picture my grandparents, it's at the head of a table, surrounded by their family. They love us all beyond reason, fiercely, and happiness for both of them is, to a great extend, sharing food and conversation with their family.
I respect them because they're largely self-educated, and yet incredibly clever. My grandmother comes from a family of very witty women who have a way with words, and she's passed it on to all her daughters and grandchildren. My grandfather is intensely interested in history, an interest he's largely pursued by reading for pleasure. He's also incredibly clever with his hands. Apart from building his own house, he's helped out with the building or renovating of several of our houses, and he built the bedhead that I used as a child.
I respect them also because they hold much more progressive views than you'd expect for people of their generation. They're both pro-gay rights and pro-immigration and multiculturalism. My grandfather is, by my definition at least, a male feminist, although he may not self-identify as such. (It helps to be a member of an incredibly matriarchal family.)
I love them both dearly, and I miss them more than just about every other member of my family, because it's much harder to stay in touch with them from overseas. Tony is technophobic and can't use the internet, and while Marnie can use email, she does so only sporadically. I Skype with them whenever they're around at my mum's house during our regular Skype sessions, but it's not enough. I used to see them at least once every two weeks, I think, when I lived in Sydney.
In many ways, my life is good because of them.
*My other grandparents died in the 90s, and it is one of my greatest regrets that I was unable to know them as a teenager and adult, as they seem to have been, by all accounts, really fantastic people.
These are my grandparents.* (That's also me. Wow, old photo is old!) Their grandchildren call them Marnie and Tony, rather than Grandma and Granddad or any other versions thereof. There's a complicated reason behind that, but in any case, they are Marnie and Tony.
They are among the few people I love unconditionally. And I respect them greatly.
They grew up poor in Sydney and Melbourne. Marnie's father was what you would call a 'colourful racing identity', which sounds romantic, but in actual fact meant that my grandmother had to leave school at age eight to care for her four siblings, and the whole family had to pack up one night and flee from Melbourne to Sydney. She keeps a lot back from her grandchildren about her childhood, but it sounds pretty grim. Tony grew up in less trying circumstances, but he, too, left school young (at 14) and began working straight away.
I love them because they are wise in this wordless, inexpressible way that is related to how long they've lived, how much they've seen, and how much they've done. Until a few months ago, they were living in the family home, which Tony built himself, while working full-time and studying at night-school. They clawed their way into the middle class and have seen all of their four daughters live lives much more comfortable than their own. They have two grandsons and five granddaughters and one granddaughter-in-law (the wonderful
the_lil_spoon, whom I, and they, think of as part of the family), all of whom they dote on.When I picture my grandparents, it's at the head of a table, surrounded by their family. They love us all beyond reason, fiercely, and happiness for both of them is, to a great extend, sharing food and conversation with their family.
I respect them because they're largely self-educated, and yet incredibly clever. My grandmother comes from a family of very witty women who have a way with words, and she's passed it on to all her daughters and grandchildren. My grandfather is intensely interested in history, an interest he's largely pursued by reading for pleasure. He's also incredibly clever with his hands. Apart from building his own house, he's helped out with the building or renovating of several of our houses, and he built the bedhead that I used as a child.
I respect them also because they hold much more progressive views than you'd expect for people of their generation. They're both pro-gay rights and pro-immigration and multiculturalism. My grandfather is, by my definition at least, a male feminist, although he may not self-identify as such. (It helps to be a member of an incredibly matriarchal family.)
I love them both dearly, and I miss them more than just about every other member of my family, because it's much harder to stay in touch with them from overseas. Tony is technophobic and can't use the internet, and while Marnie can use email, she does so only sporadically. I Skype with them whenever they're around at my mum's house during our regular Skype sessions, but it's not enough. I used to see them at least once every two weeks, I think, when I lived in Sydney.
In many ways, my life is good because of them.
*My other grandparents died in the 90s, and it is one of my greatest regrets that I was unable to know them as a teenager and adult, as they seem to have been, by all accounts, really fantastic people.
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-24 02:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-24 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 10:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 11:13 am (UTC)I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 01:34 pm (UTC)I hope you get to see your grandparents next time you come to visit. Is there any chance of your family helping them to set up skype on a computer at home, so you can talk to them more often? Either way, I can understand why you'd miss them so much! *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-06-27 11:29 am (UTC)I have had the odd experience of picking up particular books, loving them, telling my dad about them, and then having Dad say that that author was a particular favourite of my grandfather, so it seems we have similar taste.
I'll try and get mum to help my grandmother set up Skype. It's not any more difficult to use than email, I guess. I will certainly be visiting them when I'm next back in Sydney. They live just five minutes away from Mum.