A dissolved girl, a song with a mission
Nov. 2nd, 2011 04:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolorosa_12Day 2. Who are you? In comparison to who you used to be? What made you change?
I am a person with a fragmentary identity, a different person depending on the people around me.
I am where I come from: the daughter of Keri and Jim, the sister of Mim, Kitty and Nell, the granddaughter of Eileen and Fred and Peter and Friedl, a Phillips woman, a Canberran, a Sydneysider.
I am the identities I claim: an ASNaC, a sraffie, an Obernetter, a Usydgrouper, a nerd, a geek, an internet person, a student, a book-reviewer, a library worker, a woman who worked in patisseries. A reader.
I am the emotions I feel: all of them.
I am the relationships I have: girlfriend of M, friend of too many people to name, secure knowing that I love and am loved.
I am my beliefs and ideologies: a feminist, a social-democrat, an atheist.
I am my words and deeds: the acceptance thereof.
I write about exile having never felt more included, more connected in my life.
I believe I am always changing, so there was no one point where I can say, 'There, there I turned a corner and everything changed', except that I used to be a much more unhappy and disappointed person, much less secure in myself. And it was Cambridge, Cambridge and the internet - specifically the sraffies of The Republic of Heaven - that changed me. After these two places, I was myself again. They gave me strength and confidence and love and by some miracle got me out of the six-year-long depression into which I had fallen, and I am forever grateful.
ETA: I got to thinking about why it is that Cambridge and the 'Pub changed me, and I realised it was because that in both those places, for the first time in over two decades, I had to be myself and build myself from the beginning, without any external references. I was coming into both those situations unknown. And that was both liberating and empowering.
Day 3. Where have you been spending your time lately? Three/Five/Ten years ago would you have expected to be there?
Day 4. What do you think it means to be in love?
Day 5. Pick a song that projects the same mood as your day or week and explain.
Day 6. Talk about a recent experience that has affected you greatly and how.
Day 7. Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?
Day 8. Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words “childhood memory”
Day 9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Day 10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
Day 11. Do you feel protective over someone?
Day 12. If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
Day 13. Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
Day 14. When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
Day 15. What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.
Day 16. What are you passionate about?
Day 17. Who was the last person you kissed? (If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?
Day 18. Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
Day 19. If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
Day 20. Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
Day 21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
Day 22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
Day 23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.
Day 24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?
Day 25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?
Day 26. Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?
Day 27. Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they’ll be okay?
Day 28. Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?
Day 29. If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?
Day 30. Look back on this last month and talk about it.
I am a person with a fragmentary identity, a different person depending on the people around me.
I am where I come from: the daughter of Keri and Jim, the sister of Mim, Kitty and Nell, the granddaughter of Eileen and Fred and Peter and Friedl, a Phillips woman, a Canberran, a Sydneysider.
I am the identities I claim: an ASNaC, a sraffie, an Obernetter, a Usydgrouper, a nerd, a geek, an internet person, a student, a book-reviewer, a library worker, a woman who worked in patisseries. A reader.
I am the emotions I feel: all of them.
I am the relationships I have: girlfriend of M, friend of too many people to name, secure knowing that I love and am loved.
I am my beliefs and ideologies: a feminist, a social-democrat, an atheist.
I am my words and deeds: the acceptance thereof.
I write about exile having never felt more included, more connected in my life.
I believe I am always changing, so there was no one point where I can say, 'There, there I turned a corner and everything changed', except that I used to be a much more unhappy and disappointed person, much less secure in myself. And it was Cambridge, Cambridge and the internet - specifically the sraffies of The Republic of Heaven - that changed me. After these two places, I was myself again. They gave me strength and confidence and love and by some miracle got me out of the six-year-long depression into which I had fallen, and I am forever grateful.
ETA: I got to thinking about why it is that Cambridge and the 'Pub changed me, and I realised it was because that in both those places, for the first time in over two decades, I had to be myself and build myself from the beginning, without any external references. I was coming into both those situations unknown. And that was both liberating and empowering.
Day 3. Where have you been spending your time lately? Three/Five/Ten years ago would you have expected to be there?
Day 4. What do you think it means to be in love?
Day 5. Pick a song that projects the same mood as your day or week and explain.
Day 6. Talk about a recent experience that has affected you greatly and how.
Day 7. Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?
Day 8. Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words “childhood memory”
Day 9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Day 10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
Day 11. Do you feel protective over someone?
Day 12. If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
Day 13. Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
Day 14. When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
Day 15. What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.
Day 16. What are you passionate about?
Day 17. Who was the last person you kissed? (If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?
Day 18. Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
Day 19. If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
Day 20. Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
Day 21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
Day 22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
Day 23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.
Day 24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?
Day 25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?
Day 26. Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?
Day 27. Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they’ll be okay?
Day 28. Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?
Day 29. If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?
Day 30. Look back on this last month and talk about it.