In which Ronni learns the same lesson all over again

[dolorosa_12]

I woke up today feeling mopey and defeated. This is not an uncommon occurrence, especially recently. For no particular reason at all, I'll wake up and feel so crushed, so hopeless, so unable to cope with (unspecified) stuff that it's an effort even to open my eyes. I had no desire to eat, no desire to do a single thing. What got me out of bed, in fact, was the need to do laundry and the fear that if I left it too late, the two washing machines would be taken. (Yes, in a fit of brilliance, the designers of this block of student flats provided only two washing machines for more than 100 students.)

Most importantly, I had no desire to interact with another human being.

Try as I might, the feeling didn't leave me for the entire day. At least, not until after I went to my language class and talked to people and did exercises about German geography and just generally partook in human interaction.

Why do I never learn? The days I feel least like talking to other human beings are the days I require it the most.

Comments

[catpuccino.livejournal.com]

I completely understand that feeling. The hide yourself away and never never want to see anyone feeling. You resent even the existence of other people sometimes.

I'm glad the class helped. It's worse when it's one of those days when nothing helps.

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've learnt through bitter experience that only certain types of interaction help. Very low-key stuff, like talking to housemates in the kitchen or going to a not-very-demanding class. Any kind of large-scale socialising makes it worse (that is, if I had gone to a party or a bar or any event where I had to deal with a lot of people, I would've been an absolute mess).

[catpuccino.livejournal.com]

I would find that sometimes even the stuff that I normally enjoyed was too much.
Case in point, dancing seemed to help most of the time, but sometimes, no.

Yeah parties are always a massive commitment and only for good, good moods.

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that's interesting. Apart from a small range of activities I know (through experience) to work (running, walking, sitting in a cafe, talking to my friend thelxiepia online), the most effective things tend to be very banal activities, such as the aforementioned German class. It's very much a process of trial and error, isn't it? You just build up a collection of methods for coping with it after many times experiencing these feelings. At least that's how it feels to me.