More on Pretty Little Liars
Aug. 30th, 2013 03:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolorosa_12I seem to have Pretty Little Liars on the brain. Since not much is happening on that front on LJ/Dreamwidth, I've been making lightening raids on Tumblr, diving into the PLL tag and emerging swiftly with bits of meta and commentary about the season 4A finale reveal and the series in general. I'm only skimming the surface, as going back to Tumblr properly would be a really bad idea. Reblogging and Ronni do not mix.
But I find myself wanting to respond to something I read today. I'm putting the rest of this behind a cut, because it contains spoilers, and also some discussion of bullying, abusive relationships and a relationship between a teacher and student.
The link is to a great piece of commentary by Tumblr user Prozacpark, and is about the relationship between Toby and Spencer. Prozacpark views Toby as abusive - and I think this reading is correct. Where I differ is whether the text frames this abuse with approval or not.
The thing about this show is firstly that it puts the friendships of teenage girls front and centre, and makes the things about those relationships that are normally deplored (their intensity, the high value placed on them by girls, their potential for 'drama') and makes them heroic and shows them to be a source of strength. (It arguably does the same for other relationships between girls and women - romantic relationships between lesbians, relationships between mothers and daughters, but to a much lesser extent.) What's amazing is less that the main characters have strong friendships with other girls, but that those friendships are the central relationship and the entire story of the show as a whole. Their antagonist(s) bully and abuse them in a kind of stereotypical Mean Girls way: harassing them online and through text messages, threatening to share their deepest secrets, trying to get them to turn on another in an exaggerated version of schoolyard politics. (That this bullying and abuse is actually life-threatening is entirely the point. Just as female relationships are celebrated for their strength, their darker side is taken seriously as a threat.) So all relationships outside this central friendship - romantic, familial or friendships with boys with whom the characters are not romantically involved - are secondary. That's not to say that they're not deeply important, but they are not the focus of the show or the driving force of the narrative.
Secondly, Toby is abusive and isolating towards Spencer, but I think that's entirely the point. The show has a pretty bleak attitude towards relationships between teenage girls and boys or men. Let's recap:
Apart from Emily's father, all the fathers on the show are indifferent on a good day and manipulative and controlling on a bad day towards their daughters. More specifically, they either explicitly or implicitly attempt to control their daughters' sexuality. (That's not to say that they don't sometimes voice valid disapproval of their daughters' actions - something I'll get back to later.) They also lie to their daughters and lie to their partners about very serious things in their lives. Apart from Emily's father, they are not trustworthy.
Every other male character not currently in a relationship with one of the Liars has either attempted to kill them or been involved in the A Team in some manner.
Caleb is the only boyfriend of the main three girls-who-are-attracted-to-guys not to behave in an abusive manner (and, if you think the female love interest is getting off lightly, I'll add that Paige was initially abusive towards Emily).
Ezra Fitz, is, at least heavily involved in the A Team (although if he's the one ultimately calling the shots I will be very surprised), was in a long-term relationship with Aria, a girl he knew was a teenager and who was and still is his student. I actually really liked their relationship (because I have a thing for fictional relationships with power imbalances), but of course would have found it horrifying in real life. While I don't think he behaved in a particularly controlling manner towards Aria (at least not on the surface, but if he's on the A Team, he's good at manipulating people and probably was able to make it seem that she was the one calling the shots in the relationship), the fact remains that such a relationship was highly inappropriate and open for abuse. I detest Aria's father, but he was right in being horrified at this relationship.
And Toby, too, is abusive and controlling. As the linked Tumblr post points out, he uses Spencer's fear of abandonment as a way of controlling her, and very deliberately isolates her from her friends.
It's my contention, however, that the show is aware of this and subtly makes its disapproval known. That is the beauty of this show. Men are, for the most part, controlling, and they fear nothing more than the sexuality and power of teenage girls, and the strength that they draw from their friendships. If you find such a friendship, hold onto it, cherish it, fight viciously for it, for it's within such friendships that you will be able to carve out a space for yourself, to find yourself, to make yourself heard. That is the show's central message. It's a bleak message, but it is also revolutionary.
Toby is abusive. Spencer's friends see it and deplore it. The show sees it and deplores it. We, the audience, are supposed to see it too. The swelling music, the romance - all of that is a distraction. The friendship between those four extraordinary, beautiful, brave girls: that is what is real.
But I find myself wanting to respond to something I read today. I'm putting the rest of this behind a cut, because it contains spoilers, and also some discussion of bullying, abusive relationships and a relationship between a teacher and student.
The link is to a great piece of commentary by Tumblr user Prozacpark, and is about the relationship between Toby and Spencer. Prozacpark views Toby as abusive - and I think this reading is correct. Where I differ is whether the text frames this abuse with approval or not.
The thing about this show is firstly that it puts the friendships of teenage girls front and centre, and makes the things about those relationships that are normally deplored (their intensity, the high value placed on them by girls, their potential for 'drama') and makes them heroic and shows them to be a source of strength. (It arguably does the same for other relationships between girls and women - romantic relationships between lesbians, relationships between mothers and daughters, but to a much lesser extent.) What's amazing is less that the main characters have strong friendships with other girls, but that those friendships are the central relationship and the entire story of the show as a whole. Their antagonist(s) bully and abuse them in a kind of stereotypical Mean Girls way: harassing them online and through text messages, threatening to share their deepest secrets, trying to get them to turn on another in an exaggerated version of schoolyard politics. (That this bullying and abuse is actually life-threatening is entirely the point. Just as female relationships are celebrated for their strength, their darker side is taken seriously as a threat.) So all relationships outside this central friendship - romantic, familial or friendships with boys with whom the characters are not romantically involved - are secondary. That's not to say that they're not deeply important, but they are not the focus of the show or the driving force of the narrative.
Secondly, Toby is abusive and isolating towards Spencer, but I think that's entirely the point. The show has a pretty bleak attitude towards relationships between teenage girls and boys or men. Let's recap:
Apart from Emily's father, all the fathers on the show are indifferent on a good day and manipulative and controlling on a bad day towards their daughters. More specifically, they either explicitly or implicitly attempt to control their daughters' sexuality. (That's not to say that they don't sometimes voice valid disapproval of their daughters' actions - something I'll get back to later.) They also lie to their daughters and lie to their partners about very serious things in their lives. Apart from Emily's father, they are not trustworthy.
Every other male character not currently in a relationship with one of the Liars has either attempted to kill them or been involved in the A Team in some manner.
Caleb is the only boyfriend of the main three girls-who-are-attracted-to-guys not to behave in an abusive manner (and, if you think the female love interest is getting off lightly, I'll add that Paige was initially abusive towards Emily).
Ezra Fitz, is, at least heavily involved in the A Team (although if he's the one ultimately calling the shots I will be very surprised), was in a long-term relationship with Aria, a girl he knew was a teenager and who was and still is his student. I actually really liked their relationship (because I have a thing for fictional relationships with power imbalances), but of course would have found it horrifying in real life. While I don't think he behaved in a particularly controlling manner towards Aria (at least not on the surface, but if he's on the A Team, he's good at manipulating people and probably was able to make it seem that she was the one calling the shots in the relationship), the fact remains that such a relationship was highly inappropriate and open for abuse. I detest Aria's father, but he was right in being horrified at this relationship.
And Toby, too, is abusive and controlling. As the linked Tumblr post points out, he uses Spencer's fear of abandonment as a way of controlling her, and very deliberately isolates her from her friends.
It's my contention, however, that the show is aware of this and subtly makes its disapproval known. That is the beauty of this show. Men are, for the most part, controlling, and they fear nothing more than the sexuality and power of teenage girls, and the strength that they draw from their friendships. If you find such a friendship, hold onto it, cherish it, fight viciously for it, for it's within such friendships that you will be able to carve out a space for yourself, to find yourself, to make yourself heard. That is the show's central message. It's a bleak message, but it is also revolutionary.
Toby is abusive. Spencer's friends see it and deplore it. The show sees it and deplores it. We, the audience, are supposed to see it too. The swelling music, the romance - all of that is a distraction. The friendship between those four extraordinary, beautiful, brave girls: that is what is real.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-06 08:42 pm (UTC)Luckily for us, the writers have maintained the focus on the OT4 on PLL, which means a lot to me. I think I might have had more issues with the last season if the finale didn't end with Spencer pretty much abandoning Toby in the woods with a possible killer to run off with the girls. ;) Because as with Melissa, Spencer would stand up for and defend him, but when it comes right down to it, her priorities are always with the girls.
I feel like Ezra was popular from the beginning? Since the fandom latched on to Aria/Ezra early on. But yeah, the tedious arc with his son was completely unneeded, and I especially didn't see the point of it this season when he wasn't even in a relationship with Aria. I am really hoping that they follow through on this reveal of him being evil and not another case of "I only did it to protect you!"
And I didn't at all mean to dismiss what abusive relationships do to real women. I realize that abuse can change a person, and I do think it's changed Spencer. I plan to analyze this when I finally get around to writing this season up, but in particular, I was very interested in the fact that Spencer was more controlling towards her friends this season than in the past? Which seems a very normal reaction to that sort of situation, where she responds by controlling things that she can. And I think that the girls also called her out more readily, because the rift that Toby drove into their relationship is still an issue. Like, they have forgiven her and they love her, but I don't think it's all as easily forgotten. Which I really appreciate.
I am okay with seeing this play out, but I hope we get a resolution worthy of this narrative, because as much as I love/trust this narrative, I have seen fandom influences drive writers to entirely ruin their own creations, so I am always very wary of this? I just never thought PLL would make me feel this way!
Randomly, I rewatched some of the Toby and Spencer scenes again so I could correct some of the examples in my Toby commentary, and the scene where Toby is physically holding on to Spencer while she's trying to pull her hands away and get him to let go, the camera keeps focusing on their hands. Which seems like a deliberate choice to show his abusive nature? So I am definitely hoping that this pans out and Toby is ultimately pushed back to his earlier level of importance in this narrative. I just have no patience for sitting through his refrigerated mother arc, and I fear that we're not through with that.
And I have always happy to have more people to discuss PLL with, so you're welcome to subscribe to my DW. Not enough people want to engage with this show on a meta level, and that makes me so sad because there's just SO MUCH to unpack here.
Lastly, I understand that you're working on your thesis, so don't worry about replying to this comment on any kind of time limit. Or even at all. :)