'No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone'

[dolorosa_12]

Every so often, a book comes around that is just so perfectly written to engage with my own particular narrative tastes that it's as if it had been written just for me. The most recent such book is The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon. Not only is it as if Shannon sat down with me and made a list of all the things I most wanted to read - and then wrote a book to those specifications - but her playlist for the book is packed full of songs by my favourite artists. And if that's not enough, the song she describes as her protagonist's 'theme' is a song that I've long considered a sort of personal mantra.

Anyway, if you like urban fantasy, alternative versions of London, post-apocalyptic settings that offer hope rather than bleakness, young female protagonists who actually have support networks and female friends, underground networks of criminals operating as a sort of grey market for the dispossessed - in short, if you like all the things I like, you should check it out.

If you need more convincing, my review is here.

And if anyone else has read The Bone Season, I'd love to talk to you, because otherwise I fear this is going to go the way it normally does: namely, me being a lonely Fandom of One.

In other news, today is Matthias' birthday (and my sister Kitty's birthday too) and our anniversary. Yes, we got together three years ago on his birthday. He's currently at a librarian training event in Bury St Edmunds, and when I've finished my shift at work we're meeting up there to have an early dinner before heading back to town for another friend's birthday party. November is such a birthday month. This week alone held my sister Mim's birthday (which she shares with five other friends of mine), my dad's birthday (which he shares with the other friend whose party we're attending tonight) and Kitty's birthday. It seems a bit excessive!

Comments

[goodbyebird]

Oh this sounds interesting! *adds*

[dolorosa_12]

Ooh, I'm glad you like the sound of it! I'd love to have someone with whom to discuss it, and was worried this was going to end up being my usual fandom-of-one scenario.

[cordialcount]

Happy anniversary! And many happy birthdays to your friends and family; you can consider the month a run up to the so-called holiday season in December, which seems to get more excessive every year.

re: post subject line, I thought I'd heard most of Florence and the Machine's work (especially since she's one of Western vidders' and fanmixers' favorites) but had missed "Blinding" until you mentioned it last post, and wow. Thank you. I've had it on loop for so long I can actually parse the words, and if you don't mind, I'm curious: do you have a personal interpretation of the lyrics, especially the last stanza, Snow White and the circuit board and the hidden door?

Warning: essay about MY FEELINGS ABOUT 'BLINDING' to follow

[dolorosa_12]

Happy anniversary! And many happy birthdays to your friends and family

Thank you!

Apologies if this comes across as pretentious or self-absorbed (I think it's difficult to talk about song lyrics and their personal meaning without coming across in this manner, and obviously I know that Florence Welch didn't write 'Blinding' about me). This is also kind of personal, but hopefully not TMI.

So, before I started going out with my current partner, I had been in two relationships in quick succession that were really difficult in different ways. The first was just awful with absolutely no redeeming qualities (except perhaps the fact that it taught me a lot). The second was with someone I really liked, and who is still a good friend and someone I care about a great deal, but the way it played out and ended made me feel absolutely awful about myself for a really long time. And because I tend to mythologise my life and link my experiences with song lyrics, I associate the second relationship with Florence + The Machine's song 'Cosmic Love' (I assume you know it, because it's one of fandom's favourites, but just in case, I'll link its lyrics here). The stuff in that song about not being able to bring someone you love into the light, so you stay in the darkness with them is basically how that relationship was for me. I don't want to go into any more specific details in public, but I'd be happy to send you a PM if you want them, as it's not something I'm particularly uncomfortable sharing, just not in public.

I should just point out here that I view 'Cosmic Love' and 'Blinding' as linked, although I'm not sure if that's Florence's intention or whether I'm reading my own stuff into them. But in any case, to me they seem to be discussing an unhealthy relationship at two points in its chronology: 'Cosmic Love' is during the relationship when the person is so overwhelmed by everything that she is sort of lost in it, and 'Blinding' is after the relationship and she can see things more clearly.

So, on to 'Blinding'! I don't want to give a complete line-by-line analysis, but in my opinion it's about getting out of a relationship that is overwhelming and destructive ('it was you who held me under' - although this line can be interpreted ambiguously, as it could also refer to holding yourself back/being self-destructive) and walking once more in the sunshine. She equates this kind of relationship or state of being as almost like sleepwalking, or existing in a kind of hazy dreamworld or otherworld, or like being under a spell. Overcoming this and getting back to reality is likened to finally being able to see clearly, and it's described as a physical sensation that permeates every part of the body ('felt it in my fists in my in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids/ Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs'). It's also described as like waking up from a dream, and like a spell being lifted.

The song alludes to fairytales and mythology: most specifically Snow White waking up from the glass coffin, but also more indirectly Persephone returning to the land of the living and into spring and sunshine. (Tanith Lee has written a novel that conflates Snow White with the Persephone myth, so Florence Welch isn't the first to have done so.) That's what I think is going on in the last stanza, although you're right that it's the vaguest part of the song. But I think what's she getting at there is if you let destructive people or feelings 'slip through your hidden door', you run the risk of falling into a state that's like a living death (like Snow White). The 'circuit board' is your mind, so 'Snow White's stitching up your circuit board' means something like 'the depression brought on by self-destructive thoughts or being in an unhealthy relationship feels like sleepwalking or living in a dreamworld behind glass'. Does that make sense?

So I guess the song doesn't end on a completely triumphant note, but to me it's so life-affirming and such a perfect representation of my own experiences and feelings that listening to it is basically like listening to someone tell The Story of dolorosa_12, circa 2009-present (or 2003-present, if we're talking not just difficult relationships but also depression). To me, personally, it's about overcoming both depression and the baggage that came with both my recent previous relationships. And it's about the things that helped me overcome those things: my current relationship, which is excellent, and my own efforts at dealing with depression (mainly getting counselling and sorting my life out). I listen to 'Blinding', and it reminds me of my own journey, the things I carry, and how much I have overcome.

Sorry if that was very tl;dr. I just have a lot of FEELINGS about 'Blinding'.

[dolorosa_12]

Oh, and I'm glad you enjoy the song. I tend to play it on loop a lot too! One weekend I played it over 100 times in a row.

[malinowy.livejournal.com]

I was going to be sad that I'll need to save up to buy this book but lo and behold, it's in our library's collection. I will need to keep it in mind and put it on request because it sounds like a very interesting book. Plus the playlist is pretty awesome.

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the playlist is great. I've already listened to it a couple of times, and I think it will be a good thesis-editing playlist for me! I'm glad you like the sound of the book, and I hope you enjoy it when you read it. I'd love to have people with whom I can discuss it, even if they don't like it as much as I do.

[meri-sielu.livejournal.com]

That does sound like a really good book, I shall have to try it out on your recommendation. :)

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like the sound of it! I look forward to hearing what you think of it.

[isigfethera.livejournal.com]

Oooh London, urban fantasy and hope, sounds fantastic! And female protagonists with female friends are sadly all to rare. May have to check it out...

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

I should warn you that it's not the best book ever written. There are a few problems, and the main characters make a couple of frankly bizarre decisions towards the end of the story. I'm very enthusiastic, because it's as if the book has been written entirely to my own specifications, rather than because it's groundbreaking fiction. Does that make sense? I'd really like you to read it so that I have people to discuss it with, but I don't want you to come away from my gushing recommendation with the wrong impression.

It's a charming book that appeals to me on a very personal level. That's what I'm trying to say, I guess.