Our sketch

[dolorosa_12]

I mentioned our rather silly sketch that we did on the first week of my Irish course, and I reproduce it here. Imagine that it's set in a cafe, and that every so often we interspersed our lines with 'Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb' ('rhubarb' is the word for rhubarb in Irish too).


Waitress: *drops cutlery on the table*
Customer 1: An sin scian a fheicim ós mo chomhair? ('Is this a dagger that I see before me?')
Customer 2 (me!): Ní sciain é sin...is scian é seo! ('That's not a knife...this is a knife!') *pulls out massive knife*
Customer 3: Cá bhfuil Johnny? ('Where's Johnny?')
Customer 4: D'ith mé a dhuáin le pónairi agus buidéal deas Chianti! ('I ate his liver with a nice bottle of Chianti!')
Customer 1: Cé atá orm codladh leo chun deoch a fháil sa bhaile seo? ('Who do I have to sleep with to get a drink in this town?')
Waitress: An bhfuil tusa ag labhairt liomsa? ('Are you talking to me?')
Customer 3: Cá bhfuil Johnny? ('Where's Johnny?')
Customer 5: Tá sé ina chodladh leis na héisc. ('He's sleeping with the fishes.')
Customer 3: Cá bhfuil Johnny? ('Where's Johnny?')
Customer 2 (me again!): Frankly, mo chroí, is cuma sa diabhal liom! ('Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!')
Customer 3: Cá bhfuil Johnny? ('Where's Johnny?')
Johnny: Seo Johnny! ('Here's Johnny!')
Customer 5: Beidh mé ar ais. ('I'll be back.')
Customer 1: Caithfidh fear atá air a dhéanamh a dhéanamh. ('A man's got to do what a man's got to do.')
Customer 3: Léim suas ar do chapall is fág an baile seo! ('Get on your horse and get out of town!')
Customer 4: *phone goes off*
Waitress: Seinn arís é, a Sham! ('Play it again, Sam!')
Johnny: *takes a drink* Ó sea! Ó sea! (Fairly self explanatory orgasmic noises.)
Customer 3: Beidh an rud céanna agamsa is atá aici siúd! ('I'll have what she's having!')
Johnny: Ní bean atá ionam atá ach fear. ('I'm not a woman, I'm a man.')
Customer 1: Nís suí gan locht. ('Nobody's perfect'.)