dolorosa_12: (beach path)
[personal profile] dolorosa_12
I spoke with sister #1 on Friday morning, and for various reasons the conversation left me with lingering miserable feelings for most of the weekend, and a real lack of motivation to do much. Nevertheless, I persisted and tried to do happy things in spite of myself.

Yesterday, Matthias and I caught the train and then the bus out to St Ives for another beer festival held in a church. The weather outside was miserable, but the atmosphere indoors was bubbly and cheerful. People brought their small children, and dogs of various sizes, and sat around chatting in the pews. We bumped unexpectedly into R and K, two former students from our niche subject department in Cambridge (the pair started their undergrad degrees the same year I started my MPhil, and I attended all the undergrad medieval Welsh classes at the same time as R) and their toddler son. They live in Windsor now, and I don't think I'd seen them since before the pandemic, so it was somewhat surprising to see them at a random beer festival in St Ives! The world is at once big, and small.

Matthias and I finished up our St Ives excursion with a drink in a tiny cocktail bar (the whole space only has about twelve seats in it), then a very hasty dinner in a restaurant in order to catch our bus back and make it home at a reasonable time. I do enjoy these days out to nearby towns and villages, and should remember to do things like this more often.

Today — because I was trying to be kind to myself and my bad mood — I cancelled my 8am swim and had what passes for me as a lie-in (i.e. I still woke up without an alarm at 7am but lay around in bed until 8am instead of immediately getting up), before going on a walk with Matthias. Without a car, there aren't many options in terms of walking (there are about four routes we can take), so it was the same loop walk we did on New Year's Day, which goes along the river, then through leafy suburban streets, before ending up in the market square, taking just over an hour. We drank hot drinks from the coffee rig, and sat in the crisp wintry sunshine, watching the world go by.

Other than that, it's been a day for pottering about at home with the Winter Olympics on in the background. I haven't really been able to focus on reading (although I did finish a reread of Vanessa Fogg's beautiful little fairytale of a novella, 'The Lilies of Dawn,' while eating lunch, and I enjoyed Rebecca Ferrier's The Salt Bind — nineteenth-century smugglers, miners and Cornish folklore, with the sea an ambivalent and constant presence — earlier in the week), and in general I just feel a bit scattered and unfocused. But I've got hibiscus tea, later I'll light the wood-burning stove, and yesterday was the first evening of the year in which the sun set at 5pm, and that's enough light and softness on which to build.

Date: 2026-02-08 03:45 pm (UTC)
yarnofariadne: a cresting wave (misc: even when you're broken)
From: [personal profile] yarnofariadne
I'm sorry to hear you've felt emotionally rough. It sounds like you had a lovely weekend, and I hope it was restorative.

Date: 2026-02-08 04:05 pm (UTC)
author_by_night: (From Pexels)
From: [personal profile] author_by_night
*Hugs*

I hate when conversations leave you feeling down.

Date: 2026-02-08 04:38 pm (UTC)
thatjustwontbreak: books and candle (bibliophile)
From: [personal profile] thatjustwontbreak
I think you really nailed it in terms of doing happy things. How lovely to visit St. Ives and run into previous students.

I hope the tea and light turn things around a bit for you. <3

Date: 2026-02-09 04:40 am (UTC)
chestnut_pod: A close-up photograph of my auburn hair in a French braid (Default)
From: [personal profile] chestnut_pod
I'm sorry there was such a lull to start the weekend off. Hope you are well <3

Mutual adoration society for The Lilies of Dawn. I am in awe of how it manages to be Cupid and Psyche, Seven Swans, and crane wife all at once, and yet something different from each of those! So gorgeous. Fogg and El-Mohtar are by far my favorite fantasy short story authors. Fogg also reviews books periodically on Goodreads, which I appreciate, because she frequently introduces me to books I'd never otherwise hear about.

Date: 2026-02-09 11:00 am (UTC)
merit: (Ocean)
From: [personal profile] merit
I am glad you had a restful weekend - I hope the week is calm and peaceful for you.

Date: 2026-02-10 02:20 am (UTC)
svgurl: (Default)
From: [personal profile] svgurl
I'm sorry that you were leaving feeling so down. *hugs* Glad that you seemed to have a nice weekend and were kind to yourself. :)

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