dolorosa_12 | Bwaa! I need a hug!

I feel sick with fear. Last term everything was going so well. My supervisor was pleased with me, writing seemed to come really easily (to the extent that I wrote 2000 words too many on my literature review) and life was beautiful. This term, I've spent most of my time hiding in my room, wasting time on the internet. I've struggled to write, I can't seem to bring myself to start studying for my exams (which are in mid-March) and I misread a conference poster so that I thought I had until February 28th to register, whereas free admission to the conference (for Cambridge students) closed in the first week of February. I just got a snarky email back from my supervisor about this conference, saying 'you had plenty of reminders about this'. It's true, I did. It's entirely my own fault. Also, one of my friends has been unofficially told she's got a PhD place here, and I've heard nothing yet.

I was so calm and assured and happy last term. Now my hands start to shake and my mouth goes dry every time I check my 'official' uni email. It's been an hour since I got the email from my supervisor and I'm still trembling.