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dolorosa_12...and the truth is that I'd probably do it again.
Day 9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Okay, so in ten years, it will be 2021, not 2020, but in case you haven't noticed, I've been using song lyrics for all the titles here, and these, from '2020' by The Herd perfectly sum up my attitude towards questions such as these.
The answer is, in ten years, I have no idea where I'll be. I know where I'd like to be (working as an academic or librarian, hopefully still with M, hopefully still in Britain or Ireland, hopefully with a couple of children, hopefully happy with my life), but my life up to this point has so successfully confounded my expectations that I know how twisty and turny and unexpected everything can be. For example, ten years ago, when I was sixteen, I had a Life Plan. This is how I expected my life to unfold:
16-18: Be in a relationship with Serious Highschool Boyfriend.
18: Have heart broken by Serious Highschool Boyfriend, resulting in trust issues and a reluctance to form relationships.
18-22: Go to university and study Arts (humanities), with honours in English literature.
19: Meet Serious University Boyfriend, whose sheer awesomeness would cure all my trust issues.
22: Begin working as a journalist at an Australian newspaper.
23: Get married to Serious University Boyfriend.
25: Have first child.
This, instead, is what happened:
16-20: Have Epic, Unrequited Crush on Unattainable Guy. Have several short-term relationships in an attempt to extricate self from said Unrequited Crush.
18-22: Go to university and study Arts, with honours in English literature.
18-present: Work as a book-reviewer for an Australian newspaper.
22-23: Have a miserable time working as a sub-editor for an Australian newspaper. Another relationship that never got off the ground.
23-24: MPhil in Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic at the University of Cambridge. Disastrous short-term relationship which ended in such unspeakable horror that I was in counselling for a year about it.
24-present: PhD in Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic at the University of Cambridge. Short-term relationship with a friend of mine that ended due to problems that were too great for either of us to fix.
25-present: Relationship with the rather wonderful M.
26: Currently studying on exchange at the University of Heidelberg in Germany.
So yeah, my Life Plan was naïve, and the product of the books I read as a teenager, but what strikes me most about it is how neat it is. And how messy is what really happened in comparison. Aside from studying Arts with honours in English literature, nothing on either list matches! And the Life Plan is so linear, with each step flowing on from the one preceding, whereas my real life was full of stops and starts and u-turns.
And yes, some people might look at my life over the past ten years and see mistakes, but all I see is my life, joy and pain and all. They may be mistakes, but they're my mistakes, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
And I really have no idea what my life will look like in ten years.
Day 10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
Day 11. Do you feel protective over someone?
Day 12. If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
Day 13. Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
Day 14. When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
Day 15. What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.
Day 16. What are you passionate about?
Day 17. Who was the last person you kissed? (If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?
Day 18. Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
Day 19. If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
Day 20. Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
Day 21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
Day 22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
Day 23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.
Day 24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?
Day 25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?
Day 26. Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?
Day 27. Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they’ll be okay?
Day 28. Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?
Day 29. If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?
Day 30. Look back on this last month and talk about it.
Day 9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Okay, so in ten years, it will be 2021, not 2020, but in case you haven't noticed, I've been using song lyrics for all the titles here, and these, from '2020' by The Herd perfectly sum up my attitude towards questions such as these.
The answer is, in ten years, I have no idea where I'll be. I know where I'd like to be (working as an academic or librarian, hopefully still with M, hopefully still in Britain or Ireland, hopefully with a couple of children, hopefully happy with my life), but my life up to this point has so successfully confounded my expectations that I know how twisty and turny and unexpected everything can be. For example, ten years ago, when I was sixteen, I had a Life Plan. This is how I expected my life to unfold:
16-18: Be in a relationship with Serious Highschool Boyfriend.
18: Have heart broken by Serious Highschool Boyfriend, resulting in trust issues and a reluctance to form relationships.
18-22: Go to university and study Arts (humanities), with honours in English literature.
19: Meet Serious University Boyfriend, whose sheer awesomeness would cure all my trust issues.
22: Begin working as a journalist at an Australian newspaper.
23: Get married to Serious University Boyfriend.
25: Have first child.
This, instead, is what happened:
16-20: Have Epic, Unrequited Crush on Unattainable Guy. Have several short-term relationships in an attempt to extricate self from said Unrequited Crush.
18-22: Go to university and study Arts, with honours in English literature.
18-present: Work as a book-reviewer for an Australian newspaper.
22-23: Have a miserable time working as a sub-editor for an Australian newspaper. Another relationship that never got off the ground.
23-24: MPhil in Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic at the University of Cambridge. Disastrous short-term relationship which ended in such unspeakable horror that I was in counselling for a year about it.
24-present: PhD in Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic at the University of Cambridge. Short-term relationship with a friend of mine that ended due to problems that were too great for either of us to fix.
25-present: Relationship with the rather wonderful M.
26: Currently studying on exchange at the University of Heidelberg in Germany.
So yeah, my Life Plan was naïve, and the product of the books I read as a teenager, but what strikes me most about it is how neat it is. And how messy is what really happened in comparison. Aside from studying Arts with honours in English literature, nothing on either list matches! And the Life Plan is so linear, with each step flowing on from the one preceding, whereas my real life was full of stops and starts and u-turns.
And yes, some people might look at my life over the past ten years and see mistakes, but all I see is my life, joy and pain and all. They may be mistakes, but they're my mistakes, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
And I really have no idea what my life will look like in ten years.
Day 10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
Day 11. Do you feel protective over someone?
Day 12. If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
Day 13. Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
Day 14. When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
Day 15. What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.
Day 16. What are you passionate about?
Day 17. Who was the last person you kissed? (If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?
Day 18. Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
Day 19. If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
Day 20. Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
Day 21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
Day 22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
Day 23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.
Day 24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?
Day 25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?
Day 26. Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?
Day 27. Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they’ll be okay?
Day 28. Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?
Day 29. If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?
Day 30. Look back on this last month and talk about it.