Downton Abbey, season 3; PhD, year 3

[dolorosa_12]

Can someone please explain why I should feel a shred of outrage that a patronising, paternalistic, privileged, cheating nobleman who was so financially incompetent that he lost all his wife's money on an idiotic investment is being forced to sell the family estate that gives back nothing to the wider community besides providing jobs for the people who serve his family?

Julian Fellowes clearly thinks I should feel that this is a grave, undeserved injustice.

Life goes on in its up and downy manner. Today I edited half of my PhD chapter. This went relatively smoothly, although for some reason, after lunch I felt a wave of anxiety so profound that I ended up sitting on the floor, crying and sort of rocking back and forth.

I managed to get a grip by going out for a long walk in the pouring rain. There are two paths that I could've taken along the route I chose: a bike path that is higher up, paved with asphalt, or a dirt track along the river, muddy and marshy. I chose the river track, despite not having any gumboots. There's something profoundly satisfying about trudging through the mud, being lashed by the wind and rain.

But my point is this: I'm not always in a position to go for a long walk when these waves of anxiety (or depression, or, occasionally, rage) hit. I'm thinking of tracking these things by noting my levels of depression, anxiety and rage every day, but it struck me that these things fluctuate, and I should try to keep track of what is bringing them on. People who have any experience with doing this, do you tend to note your levels of these emotions multiple times in the day, or only once a day?

Comments

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

Thanks for telling me all this - it's really helpful to hear from someone who's experienced something similar. It's very hard to explain to people who haven't gone through this. I'm going to try tracking stuff, but three times a day (morning, after lunch, before I go to bed), because I think that's what will work for me.

Feel the roller coaster of emotions because... they're telling you SOMETHING.

This is what I struggle to explain to people, and it's so true.

Being back in England is helpful, and my moods are generally better than last year, so that is one positive thing.

By the way, are you back in Australia? My boyfriend and I are visiting for three weeks over the summer, and I'd love to catch up. I won't be going to Canberra, but if you're in Sydney at any point, we must meet up!

[catpuccino.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that being back in England helps. Even if they can't actually DO anything, being around loved ones constantly can help a lot, just by being there I guess you know you aren't so alone.

yes I'm back in Canberra again, but can pretty easily get up to Sydney. Let me know when you're here! :o)