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dolorosa_12I think I've finally managed to get on top of all the comments I've received on various posts (and I have to say, having so much activity on Dreamwidth that I'm on the verge of being overwhelmed by comments is a nice problem to have), just in time for this week's open thread.
Today's question comes fromlikeadeuce: give a piece of advice to your younger self.
It's a bit of a cliché, but I truly wish I'd been able to tell my younger self not to fixate so much on what people thought of her, or to at least have a sense of perspective about it. I wish I had been able to make myself understand that every single other teenager in my life at the time was as self-absorbed as I was, and that they were completely oblivious to all the things I felt they were noticing and judging me for. Sadly, I fear that teenage!me would not have believed this advice, and I'm sure I got it from the adults in my life at the time, and didn't believe them. It didn't help that as well as being very self-absorbed, I was a hyper vigilant and hyperaware teeanger who did observe the people around her (and definitely judged them), and just assumed everyone was the same.
So I wish I had been able to give myself that advice, but I'm dubious as to whether it would have been effective. Learning that for the most part people are too wrapped up in their own selves to notice all the things you're embarrassed and fearful about is just one of those lessons that you have to learn the hard way.
What are your answers?
Today's question comes from
likeadeuce: give a piece of advice to your younger self.It's a bit of a cliché, but I truly wish I'd been able to tell my younger self not to fixate so much on what people thought of her, or to at least have a sense of perspective about it. I wish I had been able to make myself understand that every single other teenager in my life at the time was as self-absorbed as I was, and that they were completely oblivious to all the things I felt they were noticing and judging me for. Sadly, I fear that teenage!me would not have believed this advice, and I'm sure I got it from the adults in my life at the time, and didn't believe them. It didn't help that as well as being very self-absorbed, I was a hyper vigilant and hyperaware teeanger who did observe the people around her (and definitely judged them), and just assumed everyone was the same.
So I wish I had been able to give myself that advice, but I'm dubious as to whether it would have been effective. Learning that for the most part people are too wrapped up in their own selves to notice all the things you're embarrassed and fearful about is just one of those lessons that you have to learn the hard way.
What are your answers?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-20 12:17 pm (UTC)I think the thing about being a parent (and I say this as someone who doesn't have children) is that nothing can prepare you for it until you do it, and you really do not know what it's going to be like until you're a parent. Reading parenting books, and talking to other parents, and so on can help, but you won't truly know what it will be like, because no one else is the world has your temperament and experiences, and your partner's temperament and experiences, and no one else in the world has the same child(ren) as you. (I mean 'you' in a general sense, not you personally.)
(I know you're stretched really thin and exhausted at the moment, so please don't feel any pressure to respond unless you want to.)