*wades out of the swamp*
Oct. 8th, 2021 08:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolorosa_12I ... kind of disappeared again. I spent the previous two weeks in the kind of miserable fog that I always fall into when I make the mistake of reading news websites or going on Twitter. I always think I can handle it in small doses, and I'm always wrong, and fall into terrible patterns that end up basically being like deliberate self-harm.
In any case, I am now at the point where I recognise these patterns, and eventually drag myself out of them using the usual tricks:
Making daily to-do lists and crossing them off
Walking outside every day, even on days working from home
Yoga every day
Cleaning every day
Regular exercise
Avoiding Twitter and news websites like the plague, and instead reading soft and comforting books
The vaguely irritating thing is that all this stuff actually works. Who would have thought that moving one's body, cleaning one's living space, and nourishing one's mind would lead to better mental health than spending the whole day scrolling Twitter and feeling furiously enraged about Brexit and Sarah Everard? (Sarcasm, obviously.)
Two other things that have done a huge amount in improving my mood are my resumption of regular swimming, and my visit to a physiotherapist to finally deal with the intense pain that I've been feeling since January whenever any pressure is put on my wrists and ankles. I have a high tolerance for pain and a rather stupid relationship with aches and pains in my body due to my history as a gymnast — my assumption is always to ignore the pain and assume it will eventually go away or I'll stop noticing it. Obviously, this is a bad attitude, and in this case was profoundly unhelpful.
The physio's diagnosis was pretty much Peak Ronni. There is, apparently, nothing actually wrong with my wrists and ankles. Rather, I am so utterly incapable of relaxing any muscle in my body that the tension in my arms and legs has caused this knock-on effect on my wrists and ankles. (This led to an amusing moment where the physio was trying to move my wrists to check they weren't injured, and kept telling me to relax my arms ... no, really relax he said, but I was incapable.) I'd kind of always known I did this, but it was good to have it confirmed by a medical professional.
And that's basically been my week. I'm sorry not to have responded to comments, or commented on people's posts, but I just haven't felt up to it.
In other news, the new premier of New South Wales is a) someone I went to university with (he was a perpetually failing student politician who — if memory serves — kept trying to get elected as the leader of the student union) and b) a raging homophobe and conservative Catholic. (It feels to me that we've sleep-walked into a situation where Australia's politicians are disproportionately conservative, fundamentalist Christians of various denominations, despite the fact that the country is extremely irreligious; the prime minister is a Pentecostal Christian who belongs to a church that believes in the prosperity gospel, and many of his cabinet are evangelicals as well.) So, we finally get someone of my generation into a position of political leadership ... and we end up with this guy? (I told my mother he went to uni with me, and she was like, how can he be your age? He has six children? Well, he's older than me, but younger than Matthias. The six kids are, of course, the consequence of conservative Catholicism.)
This feels like a negative note on which to end this post, so I'll leave you instead with a photo of the cathedral hidden in the mist.
In any case, I am now at the point where I recognise these patterns, and eventually drag myself out of them using the usual tricks:
The vaguely irritating thing is that all this stuff actually works. Who would have thought that moving one's body, cleaning one's living space, and nourishing one's mind would lead to better mental health than spending the whole day scrolling Twitter and feeling furiously enraged about Brexit and Sarah Everard? (Sarcasm, obviously.)
Two other things that have done a huge amount in improving my mood are my resumption of regular swimming, and my visit to a physiotherapist to finally deal with the intense pain that I've been feeling since January whenever any pressure is put on my wrists and ankles. I have a high tolerance for pain and a rather stupid relationship with aches and pains in my body due to my history as a gymnast — my assumption is always to ignore the pain and assume it will eventually go away or I'll stop noticing it. Obviously, this is a bad attitude, and in this case was profoundly unhelpful.
The physio's diagnosis was pretty much Peak Ronni. There is, apparently, nothing actually wrong with my wrists and ankles. Rather, I am so utterly incapable of relaxing any muscle in my body that the tension in my arms and legs has caused this knock-on effect on my wrists and ankles. (This led to an amusing moment where the physio was trying to move my wrists to check they weren't injured, and kept telling me to relax my arms ... no, really relax he said, but I was incapable.) I'd kind of always known I did this, but it was good to have it confirmed by a medical professional.
And that's basically been my week. I'm sorry not to have responded to comments, or commented on people's posts, but I just haven't felt up to it.
In other news, the new premier of New South Wales is a) someone I went to university with (he was a perpetually failing student politician who — if memory serves — kept trying to get elected as the leader of the student union) and b) a raging homophobe and conservative Catholic. (It feels to me that we've sleep-walked into a situation where Australia's politicians are disproportionately conservative, fundamentalist Christians of various denominations, despite the fact that the country is extremely irreligious; the prime minister is a Pentecostal Christian who belongs to a church that believes in the prosperity gospel, and many of his cabinet are evangelicals as well.) So, we finally get someone of my generation into a position of political leadership ... and we end up with this guy? (I told my mother he went to uni with me, and she was like, how can he be your age? He has six children? Well, he's older than me, but younger than Matthias. The six kids are, of course, the consequence of conservative Catholicism.)
This feels like a negative note on which to end this post, so I'll leave you instead with a photo of the cathedral hidden in the mist.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-13 04:47 pm (UTC)