I want to open my heart and let the future in

[dolorosa_12]

It's remarkable what a difference crossing several long-lingering items off my to-do list has on my mental health — and this was certainly the case this weekend. I've had more energy — and done a greater variety of things — over the past two days than throughout the whole of November. Matthias and I weeded the entire garden, my Yuletide assignment is nearly complete, I started today with a 1km swim, I've done yoga both days (for the first time in months), and I finally cracked open a book and finished the last 200 pages of The Will to Battle in several hours.

I'm just hoping this newfound energy and purpose will last until the end of the year. Work is busier than I'd like, but unfortunately it's always like this in December, with every academic in the university and hospital suddenly deciding it's imperative they complete their project by the Christmas break and calling on me for help. One such request is fine, but twenty starts to get a little overwhelming.

I don't think I'll ever adjust to the northern hemisphere completely — as strange as it sounds, after thirteen years it still feels wrong that Christmas isn't happening in summer — but I do enjoy the cold, the dark, and the winter nights illuminated by the lights and decorations glimpsed through people's windows. I went into town last night to pick up our takeaway dinner, and the Christmas tree in the market square — a strange blend of cheerful and desolate — lifted my spirits. There is light enough for me.

Comments

[senmut]

Aww. I'd have the same shock at doing holidays in the summer, I think.

[dolorosa_12]

I'm sure it's just down to whatever people are used to. I mean, growing up I could see the incongruity of all the snowflake and reindeer and pine tree decorations in the middle of the Australian summer, but I still associate Christmas with swimming at the beach, being extremely warm, and kicking off the first week of our really long summer holiday period.

[naye]

I'm so glad to hear things are getting a little brighter for you. And you finished The Will to Battle! I'm super excited to get to read it.

The Christmas deadline rush sounds miserable, though.

[dolorosa_12]

Thank you! And yes, I'm so excited to have finished my Terra Ignota reread and actually start Perhaps the Stars. I'll have to wait for Matthias to finish it though (we bought the printed book).

The end is in sight with the Christmas deadline rush, although a researcher from your former unit just got in touch about their project...

[corvidology]

Good to hear that the weekend went so well. :D

You have my sympathies. While it's still 'winter' here, it's not at all cold and dark at 4:00pm the way it's supposed to be.

[dolorosa_12]

Thank you — it's nice to feel a bit better.

That lack of distinct seasons would really bother me, even though the winters I grew up with are a lot milder and lighter than the ones here.

[isis]

It's remarkable what a difference crossing several long-lingering items off my to-do list has on my mental health

I feel that way as well! I have a list on a piece of paper, and so I get the catharsis of literally crossing off those items.

[dolorosa_12]

Physical to-do lists are fantastic. I have a bullet journal for exactly that reason, although I only use it as a weekly log of day-to-day tasks, because I realised having longer-term tasks that couldn't be broken down and crossed off in a single week was stressing me out ... hence why the lingering to-do list was weighing on my mind.

[chestnut_pod]

Oh, hurray! So glad to hear this.

[dolorosa_12]

Thanks! It's good to be feeling a bit better.

[superborb]

I can so relate to how having a lingering to do list item can sap your energy. I'm glad you finished yours!

[dolorosa_12]

Thank you — it definitely weighs you down, so I'm glad to have crossed off those tasks!

[merit]

I always love how some of those long lingering to do items only take a short period of time to complete. But building up the will power to complete it..!

I think I'll try and finish (well and start) A Will to Battle over the summer break. Here's hoping I'm not baking on Christmas Day - a pleasant thirty degrees perhaps ^^

[dolorosa_12]

Absolutely, although one of the tasks was weeding the incredibly overgrown vegetable garden, which took both Matthias and me several hours to complete. We'd been meaning to do this for the past three months, but every day that we had free time it seemed to be pouring with rain. The rest of the tasks, however, were relatively simple to sort out.

Good luck with A Will to Battle, and fingers crossed for a milder summer. My family were saying it's been rainy and cold in Sydney and Melbourne, but I'm not sure if that's the case for you.

[merit]

Ah yes. I have my own weeds to deal with... a constant during the summer, especially as due to all the rain, everything is growing very fast.

We've definitely also received a lot of rain. Some places have flooded (regionally) though I think there's just been some minor flash flooding in the city. It has also pleasantly decreased temperatures though a peak of mid 20s isn't exactly cold!

[dolorosa_12]

Eeek, flooding is never a good sign — I'm sorry to hear about it.

A peak of mid 20s temperatures is my ideal, to be honest!

Good luck with your own weedy garden!

[lirazel]

So glad to hear you're in a good place mentally right now! That's fantastic!

[dolorosa_12]

Thank you! I'm feeling so much happier — let's hope it lasts.