Friday open thread: unlearnt life skills

[dolorosa_12]

Greetings from another Friday on Catastrophe Brexit Island. The mists have rolled back in, I've been swimming this morning, and I picked up a very nice cup of takeaway coffee on the way home, but unfortunately these kinds of small pleasures aren't enough to distract from the ongoing slow-motion car crash that is British politics.

However, life must go on, and so I bring you another prompting question for this week's open thread:

Is there any life skill you wished you learnt (as a child, as a young adult, at some unspecified point in the past) but for some reason never did? How would this skill have helped you in your day-to-day life? (Please feel free to interpret 'life skill' in whatever way you like.)



My answer to this question is sewing — specifically, sewing items of clothing from scratch, using a sewing machine. I grew up with a mother who had never learnt this skill herself (she came from a generation where all girls were taught to sew at school, but proudly told me that my grandmother had done all her sewing assignments/homework for her and she never learnt a thing) and was for this reason unable to teach it to her own daughters. Weirdly, she did know how to knit and knitted almost all the jumpers and cardigans my sister and I wore as small children. She and my dad have fairly basic sewing repair skills (like sewing a button, fixing small tears), and I did learn these things myself, but I can't do them neatly and my RSI makes it very hard to hold and thread a needle.

Obviously I could have learnt how to sew another way, but there was no opportunity at school and therefore I would have had to pay someone to teach me, and do so during my free time, and this never really seemed like a worthwhile thing to do. However, I still regret not knowing how to sew, because sewing my own clothes would be cheaper, and I would be free to make things in styles that fitted me properly and suited me, rather than being beholden to whatever cut of dress or skirt the fashion industry deems in style in any given year. (There have been large swathes of time in my adult life — think periods of five or ten years — when every cut of dress and skirt, and sometimes even jumper or shirt has been deeply unflattering and virtually unwearable. As for trousers, I haven't worn trousers (other than leggings and pyjamas) since about 2004.)

Weirdly enough, I have a cousin the same age as me who is a sewing expert. She has two children and makes all their clothes, and loads of clothes for herself. She was taught by her mother (one of my mother's younger sisters, who is really talented at all kinds of crafts). However, this cousin has often vocally complained that her mother never taught her how to cook, and that she struggles with this particular life skill. For my part, my parents are incredible cooks, my sister and I were in the kitchen basically since we were able to stand up, and have been capable of cooking independently since we were about ten years old. It's funny how life works out — the things you pick up as a child as 'crucial life skills' tend to be the things your own parents value, and the stuff they perceive as tedious and unimportant fall by the wayside.

Comments

[futurism]

I'm suuuuuper jealous of crafty people who are good with their hands. Sewing, building things, fixing them, changing car tires, customizing furniture, you name it, I'm jealous of it all. You could say I grew up fairly sheltered to not having learned most of these things but I'm trying to make up for it ;; though I guess it's hard to come up with excuses to sew things unless nothing actually needs fixing?

My mother never learned how to sew herself for the reasons you mention so I'm dutifully shaking your hand about our shared background. In fact, seems we are both quite similar at this question! I also at least am a good enough cook, but would love to be more crafty as a whole.

[dolorosa_12]

I'm in complete awe of people who are able to do household repairs or renovation work themselves — I always have to pay a professional in those contexts, and people who can do this sort of stuff themselves are saving themselves a huge amount of money and stress. My dad is fairly skilled at this kind of thing but my sister and I didn't live with him after I was ten and she was six. My mother, on the other hand, can't do any of this kind of stuff herself, so we had no one to teach us. Weirdly, both of my grandfathers were very skilled — one was an architect and the other was a civil engineer, and both of them built their own houses from scratch. Both grandmothers sewed all the home furnishings (curtains, bedding, couch covers etc) as well as clothes for their children and later grandchildren. Whenever we needed stuff done around the house, one or both of my grandfathers would be roped in to do it!

Good for you for making an effort for learning these things as an adult. I'm too intimidated and worried that I would damage the house, so I always end up having to pay for a professional.