It is NEVER over

[dolorosa_12]

Well, that viva was fun, if by 'fun' you mean 'travelling around with St Brendan, existing on a diet of lentils, while Dr Thunderous Laughter quizzes you about Middle Irish linguistic features'. In other words, I have no idea how I went. The questions seemed difficult, the examiners seemed determined to play devil's advocate, and I left feeling demoralised, but that may have more to do with my natural inclination towards pessimism than any actual problems with my viva. All the PhD students claimed that their vivas were easy (L. even claimed he was hungover while he did his). That didn't feel easy to me!

Then losseniaiel and I went out and drank cheap Australian wine and commiserated.

I feel like I should be more upset than I actually am, but I can't make myself feel worried. If this is all there is, if MPhil is as far as I get academically, it won't be the end of the world. I don't feel like I'm owed anything by Cambridge, and if all I get out of this year is a fantastic group of friends and a sense of belonging somewhere, in some time and some place, it really, really will be enough. I can't emphasise this enough. My MPhil year was the making of me, and if I now lapse back into mediocrity, I know that for 2008-09 I became better, tried harder, thought more, and was who I was supposed to be at that time. And that is enough.

Comments

[losseniaiel.livejournal.com]

Dr Thunderous Laughter

Best. Description. Ever.

*massive hugs*

If nothing else, this year has been worth it for the friendships.

I've decided that now is clearly the best time ever to create that review journal I've been talking about for the last eternity.

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

I'd look forward to seeing that review journal.

[symbelgal.livejournal.com]

Yes, Dr Thunderous Laughter told me that I hadn't talked enough about Celtic linguistics - in an MPhil on Old English semantics...

I'm sorry you're feeling worried, but - unless you made a complete and utter fool of yourself, which I can't judge of course but somehow strongly doubt - it will have been fine!

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the reassurance. As I said, I tend to be gloomy and pessimistic, when in many cases there's no need. From speaking to other MPhils and viva survivors (aka PhD students) it seems that the examiners deliberately try to be difficult, and as long as you stay calm it is okay.

[cereswunderkind.livejournal.com]

Through the fire, eh?

Don't worry - these things are meant to give you a hard time, else there's no point.

Enjoy your holiday!

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the reassuring words, Peter.

[(Anonymous)]

I blame the cheesy dance music for you almost quoting Daft Punk in the last sentence there. :)

Hearts and do have fun now that's it's for all intents and purposes over!

-Raphael (needs to get an LJ)

[dolorosa-12.livejournal.com]

Yes, you do! And then your destiny as a 15-year-old girl will be complete!